List barangan bayi

Hye.
Harini I nak share list untuk ibu mengandung.
Tak sangka, persiapan untuk bersalin tu sangat banyak!
Tapi mummies jangan risau.
Tak semestinya kena beli semua. Jadikan list ni sebagai panduan sahaja ye.
Alhamdulillah.
I am now a mother but not a wife anymore.
Apapun yang terjadi ada hikmahnya.
InsyaAllah I will be able to go through this!

 

I prefer large swaddle (bedung) sebab lebih senang nak balut baby.
Design swaddle skrg cantik- cantik. Best sangat beli barang baby ni.
Majoriti barang I beli online je since I kena halau dari rumah ex husband dan takde orang teman. But trust me, beli barang online lebih murah tau. Tak payah fikir nak drive, nak  cari parking, nak berjalan. Mama I x bagi beli barang awal- awal. Tapi bila dah mengandung 7 bulan tak larat la pulak. Hehe.

Pampers newborn I beli Malaysian brand- Manjaku.co. Baby kerap buang air besar jadi walaupun diaper tu murah, penyerapan dia bagus dan lembut pada kulit baby I.

Dalam persediaan breastfeeding, yang paling penting dan paling awal guna adalah Milk collector. Cara pakai dia, masa menyusu, lekapkan pada payudara yang lagi sebelah. nanti boleh keluar sampai 3 oz susu tau. Sangat mudah. Kalau tak pakai nanti habislah baju basah sebab susu meleleh.

 

Baby wrap / baby carrier? Ha, pilihlah sendiri mengikut citarasa anda. ada pro and cons masing- masing tapi yang penting ada. Since baby I suka melekap, kat rumah pun pakai baby wrap tu. Baby carrier I kena tunggu dia 5kg dulu baru boleh cuba.

Ziplock bag tu untuk asingkan baju baby dalam beg hospital nanti. Masa tengah sakit lepas bersalin tu, memang mudah kalau semua barang tersusun.

Untuk beg mummy dan beg baby, sebaiknya siapkan dari 32 minggu. I siapkan masa 33 minggu. Tiba- tiba 34 minggu kena masuk wad pulak sebab ada contraction. Nasib baik beg da siap. Angkut je la dua- dua beg.

Banyak sangat lompong dalam blog ni. Nak cerita nanti orang tak percaya cakap macam drama pukul 7 petang. Tapi itulah reality yang terjadi.

Apapun kepada bakal ibu semua, kuatkan semangat,

 jangan down and enjoy your pregnancy!

soalan cepumas (ARHJ Part 71)

"nak kahwin ke tak nak tahun ni? " soal ibu HJ
"NAK" jawab HJ
"habis tu, bila nak bawak dia jumpa mama?" soal ibunya lagi.
"errr..." kelu lidah si jejaka tak tahu nak member jawapan apa.
"kalau tak nanti mama suruh dia cari lain!" tegas ibunya.
HJ terkejut

"mana mama belajar cakap macam tu? Kakak ajar ye?"




aunty, you are the best!
sila lah paksa HJ lagi ya.
terima kasih!

written on January 2015


nota kaki: this post had been in my draft for so long. saja nak publish sekarang. ARHJ ada sambungan. percaya tak? Tak post tak semestinya takde penghujung. hehe

bye

hye blog. lama x jumpa.

tau tak?

aku dah mendirikan rumah tangga...

tapi bukan dengan HJ.

niat nak jadikan ARHJ menjadi sebuah novel nampaknya terpaksa dilupakan.

i am opening a new book of life now.

Alhamdulillah. Allah had a better plan for me. and i am happy now.

ok my son is forcing me to open "wheel one the bus" song on the computer now. bye blog.

dan bye untuk sesiapa yang baca ni... dan yang menunggu entry yg x pernah ada.... /

My Gorgeous Mission IV experience

hye readers (as if like i still got a reader). hehe...
it had been five months since i write in my blog. 

its not that being an Obstetric and Gynecological doctor is so damn busy.
i am just a bit lazy. kinda addicted to Sims game right now.
thus i spend my free time playing games and being a couch potato.

and without knowing, i had gain 15kgs in just a few months !!!

picture taken on february 2015

i become overweight and feels awkward asking my infertility patients to lose weight.
i cannot fit into my clothes. 
i even had to wear a bigger glove size during operation!!

and then one day, i went to a boutique. i need to find a dress for my Indian friend's wedding.
i saw a very beautiful dress. it was a free size dress.
so i try it on.
with much difficulty, i can fit into the dress.
but i cannot take it out!!!!
i stay inside the fitting room, thinking of what to do.
then i brace myself and asked the boutique assistant to help me. 
because fitting room is a bit small, we had to open the door a bit and the assistant helped me.
luckily the dress did not tear up!
i was so ashamed.

and then i said to myself.
thats it!
i need to lose weight!!!

so i went to Mayfair.
i had to.
i did get a gym membership before this and did a lot of exercise, but i gain more weight cuz i eat a lot (i can finish up nasi goreng pattaya and kuewtiau in one meal).
i try to diet but my busy work demands a lot of energy.
that is why i choose a more expensive option.  and voila!
i had lost 9 kg in 4 months!!!

i was doing a treatment where the staff at Mayfair Bandar Baru Uda asked me "do you want to join a contest?"
i was curious.
but they promise me special price for treatments and the prize are so mouth watering!!
and who knows i end up being the 1st runner up!!

most people who knew me before 2015 feels weird hearing my weight become 71kg. I was thin before this. dunno what happened till I gain so much weight. (It was actually due to a lot of ice cream consumption. hehe)

i had fun practicing catwalk and knowing these lovely ladies. they are amazing.
one of them even lost 15kg!!! wow, amazing!!!

me with the winner and the 2nd runner up

2nd part where we pose in a simple white shirt that we had creatively decorate

1st part: pose and catwalk in a traditional wear

i had a lovely experience during the event. it was interesting!
i never do such thing in my life. 
hehe.

and most of all, i am glad that i can lose weight!!!

besides treatment, i also avoid a lot of carbohydrates and sweet drinks.
and i love Mayfair's coffee so much.
so delicious and guilt free!!


though i am nowhere near my previous weight, i believe that any progress is a good one. 
plus, i had won a RM10k treatment + RM 3k facial and RM 1500 worth of Mayfair product, plus rm 800 photography voucher.

lets lose more weight!!!!!
yay

aku hanya manusia

being a doctor in this era is a great challenge.
we have such a big competitor --> Mr. Google Who Knows It All had been a reference for everyone.
it is OK if my patients learn about family planning from Mr Who Knows It All.
sometimes i asked them, have you ever heard of family planning?.... or have you ever heard of eclampsia?
you will be amazed on how people never heard of family planning or how much they had learn via Google.
OK, that is awesome, actually.
but when they start to diagnose themselves with a weird diagnosis that didn't even exist in Malaysia, or when they prefer to meet bomoh instead of me, i am hurt.

hello, what is the use for me to study for five years and then learn from my specialist if all of you can easily be ME?

there is one girl who proudly claims that she knows more than doctors by just referring to the Internet.

KAU KALAU BELAJAR AGAMA DARI BUKU ATAU INTERNET TANPA BELAJAR DARI KELAS AGAMA, BOLEH SESAT TAK???

aku pun boleh je belajar macam mana nak pasang almari atau pasang lampu dari internet. tapi tak bermakna aku 'expert' dalam bidang tu. 

nak cakap tu fikir dulu boleh tak? kan aku dah marah ni... *cekak pinggang*

i hate stupid arrogant people. orang bodoh sombong memang menyakitkan hati.

ada satu insiden lain, dimana seorang ibu mengandung yang menghidap preeklampsia cakap dengan aku 'dokter, saya dah sihat. saya nak balik' dengan muka menyampah dan pandang ke arah berlawanan dengan aku. aku membelek 'observation chart' yang penuh dengan tulisan merah yang menandakan tekanan darah masih tinggi dan belum stabil
wanita bertudung labuh itu berkeras mahu pulang walaupun pelbagai nasihat aku berikan kepada beliau. tapi dia masih berkeras dan tak sudi pandang muka aku langsung.
HOW RUDE!!!
"encik, kalau bawa isteri encik balik, isteri encik ada risiko kena sawan yang boleh membahayakan nyawa. tekanan darah tinggi dan ada protein dalam urine berisiko untuk dapat sawan semasa mengandung. ada orang boleh meninggal disebabkan sawan tu" kataku kepada suami pesakit.
lelaki berjubah dan berserban itu marah kepadaku "Dokter, kuasa hidup mati bukan di tangan dokter. itu semua ketentuan ALLAH"
"saya bukan nak cakap saya ni TUHAN tapi, saya cakap isteri encik sekarang ni belum sihat sepenuhnya. tekanan darah masih tinggi. ada risiko boleh dapat sawan yang boleh menyebabkan kematian" tegasku. 
akhirnya, sebab dia nak jugak balik, pakar bagi dia AOR discharge (balik atas risiko sendiri/ at own risk)
"kalau dia tak sayang nyawa dia dan nyawa baby yang dia kandung, kenapa kita kena kisah?" kata pakar kepadaku..
"tapi semua nyawa pesakit penting, boss. takkan kita nak bagi dia balik walaupun kita tahu dia boleh dapat eklampsia bila2 je" balasku..
"kat hospital pun diaorg boleh dapat eklampsia atau baby tu boleh IUD (Intrauterine death). kita tak boleh paksa pesakit" jawab pakar.

masih banyak yang perlu aku belajar. 
masih banyak kesabaran yang perlu aku pupuk.

if i care too much, i will be hurt too.
but if i don't care, pity all of my patients.

but i am just a HUMAN.
kita hanya mampu berusaha, selebihnya terserah kepada ALLAH.

takde mood (ARHJ Part 72)

suati hari....
 

HJ: takde moodla.

AR: tau. but I miss you

HJ: *diam*

AR: *menyedut hingus*

HJ: sejuk ye?

(aku kalau sejuk mesti hidung berair)

AR: takla. i'm sad

HJ: ha? tak faham

AR: S.A.D. sad. ok. S.A.D.

HJ: ye. why? Y.H.Y. why.

AR: abang salah eja lah! (ketawa)

HJ: eh ye ke? haha

awalnya dua2 bad mood sebab penat kerja.

tapi lepas tu ketawa sama2.

Sebab tu lah, tak kira siapa pun buat saya sedih (termasuk awak), saya akan cari awak jugak!

written on 24 January 2015

 

being a doctor is easier than MLM

hye.
i have been neglected my blog for quite some time.
so much had changed in my life.
i am finally in Obstetric and Gynecology department!
yeay! \(^.^)/

i am definitely in the "I LOVE MY JOB" mode right now.

i enjoy my work.
delivering babies, doing vacuum assisted delivery, stitching perineum, doing Caesarean section, seeing gynae cases (this is a bit difficult but i am still learning).
there's so much things to learn! seriously.
i need to refresh again what i had learnt 3 years ago (last time i was in O&G was in 2nd posting of housemanship).
believe me, it wasn't easy. hopefully i am able to perform my duty well. AMIN.

anyway, i have a piece of thought that i want to share with you today.
I THINK THAT BEING A DOCTOR IS MUCH SIMPLER THAN TO SUCCEED IN MULTILEVEL MARKETING (MLM)*

so why I had suddenly make such comparison?
i had few friends who claim that they are still a government hospital doctor while all they do is only 'lepaking' and 'fishing' people to join their MLM.
THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS!
how dare you write the department and hospital name below your name when you don't even work as a doctor anymore?
p.s. if you lie, how can you gain a HALAL money?

actually, i had joined one type of MLM previously, which caused me to lost a lot of money. truthfully, i am not the type who can make a 'stone face' and disturb anyone and find more people to join.
seriously it is not for me!
i salute to those who can do that. you definitely had a lot of confident!
from some researches that i had done, my conclusion is: to succeed in MLM you need a lot of TIME.
However, i'd rather spend my time reading novels, playing games, and watch series.
and i usually i spent my postcall day with sleeping (working 36 hours non stop while oncall is tiring, OK)

there was one time, a teacher approached me.
first, we hang out at McDonald, just chatting up. then, she introduced me to her friends.
and then she invited me for some events. they claim that they all learn how to gain money easily.
"I don't know how to sell things. but i can easily gain money by just having fun while singing at karaoke"
it was nice to have a lot of friends (i am not sure they are true friends or just superficial ones).
and then when they found out that i had joined another MLM, i was banned from their group.
i thought she was sincere. i really like to be her friend.

in the end, i make a conclusion that being a doctor is easier.
i got books to find factual answers, i got specialist and seniors to teach me, i enjoy my work and i did not need to 'layer up my face' or lie to my patients.

so to all future doctors, not all doctors hate their job.
I've had enough with these negative people who said our job is degrading and stressful.
every job had their own obstacles.
please find something to 'defuse' your stress.
for example, when i am too tired, i look at those cute newborn babies and disturb them a bit (opps). hihi.

to those who succeed in MLM, i think you guys are amazing. you put so much effort and you can be rich in the blink of an eye. i hope the money that you get is not 'easy come, easy go'. do invest in some business for the sake of your family. you can't be doing that job for the rest of your life, right? or am i wrong? hmmm....

anyway, i am comfortable doing what i know and i think i am good at. i am definitely doing my job till i 'pencen'. insyaALLAH.


*this is my personal opinion. please don't take it as general perception. thank you.

road gangster

sekarang ni memandu membuat aku berfikir banyak sampai rasa otak 'overload'. sakit kepala dan sakit hati dengan pemandu tak berhemah.

senario 1:
aku terpaksa berfikir sama ada kereta di sebelah aku nak masuk ke lane aku atau tidak.
sebab nanti tiba2 je dia akan menyusup masuk ke lorong aku tanpa memberi isyarat.
grrrr,,,,,,, sangat geram OK!

senario 2:
saat aku sedang bahagia memandu di jalan utama, tiba2 ada sebuah kereta yang dari lorong kecil menyusup masuk ke jalan utama dan aku hampir terlanggar kereta dia!
hey, tak reti bersabar ke?

senario 3:
di sebuah roundabout kecil...
bukankah kita harus mengutamakan kereta di kanan? tapi kenapa banyak kereta main jalan je sampai aku terpaksa berhenti di tengah2 roundabout?

senario 4:
kereta lain blok kereta aku dan tak tinggalkan no phone. sangat sangat irresponsible!!!

senario 5:
parking di tengah2 jalan sedangkan ada banyak tempat kosong. kereta aku muat2 je nak lalu. teruk betul.

senario 6:
bawak 30km/jam di 'fast lane'. ape kes? kura2 aku pun lari lagi laju.

kadang- kadang tak kira bawak berhemah macam mana pun tapi kalau orang lain 'reckless' akan accident jugak.
sabar ajelah.
haish... buat aku mengeluh pagi2 je. 
maaf post ini sangat negatif.
lain kali cerita benda positif ok.

study? NO!!!!

it is not easy to be a doctor.
i had to admit it.
i enjoy working with patients.
i enjoy doing procedures.
but when too much referral i sometimes feel a bit stressed.
especially when people referred you things that you don't even know what to do.

someone asked me a lot of questions yesterday.
simple questions which i had learn but forgotten.

the truth is.....
i hate to study. i am not a person who likes to study.
for example, i have a book in front of me but i choose to blog instead.
i open a book for five seconds then i take my novel and read it for the tenth time.

i don't even know how i become a doctor!

"I am not going to tell you it's okay, you can go home and tell me the answer next week. No. You will become better with a gun pointed in your head. Am i right?" the person said cynically.
damn right you are.


i really should study now.
bye!

Row your boat

Sometimes people are too comfortable in one place that they stay. 

Even though they are not moving forward. 

One of my bestie said that she is proud of me. 

Finally i am making a change in my path.

For better or worst, only ALLAH knows.

Even though i didnt get what i really want, perhaps there is another meaning behind all of these events.

Lets hope and pray all the best for me.

For i am nervous yet excited that i do something beyond my comfortable zone. 

Lets row the boat and sail through a new journey! 

Should we really blame the mother?

I was looking at a bunch of girls singing and dancing happily.
The smallest one is perhaps only one and a half year old and was struggling to catch up with the other 2 girls with her small but quick baby steps.

The father was asking the mother something.
I was right next to the mother, who look at the girls and asked her husband "but what about the girls?"
Our gaze were transfixed to those girls.
"I can't decide" the mother said.
"Well, you need to decide now" the father said.
The mother was scratching her head while the father just stand there and let her decide by herself.
 I had no intention to eavesdrop, and I don't understand what they were talking about.
All I remember is that those girls are so happy that it is contagious!

After those girls are out of my view, I went back to my phone, 'facebook-ing' , a hobby that I was not too addicted as Instagram, but I was so bored that I just need to read something.
And then I saw Lola's name -again. There were articles that tells us her basic salary is RM 15++ and the comments followed are mostly rude and disrespectful.
Suddenly the thin-skeleton-like-boy's image, who everyone is talking about, appear in my mind.
I sighed.
Why on earth that there are too many bad mouthed malaysians?
I am glad that most of us still have humanity that we were so damn angry when we saw an image of Muhammad Firdaus in a dirty room with a cropped t- shirt.
OK, I agree that I am also furious.
Well, who doesn't?

But I don't even have a child.
I only have a 'Pou' which I have raised half way, then it makes me annoyed when he makes a sound while I was doing rounds. "Oh crap, now everyone knows that my pou is hungry" *sigh*

My point is that I had never raise a child with my own hands.
I can imagine how hard it is for a single mother to raise her children.
Yes, it is wrong of her to lock that child and left him unkempt.
BUT LET US PUT OURSELVES IN HER SHOE FOR A MINUTE AND THINK.
Are we strong enough to handle a gifted child like that?
If ALLAH give us a mentally or physically handicap child, will you take care of the child with all your heart?
.
.
.
.
.
If your answer is YES, then ALHAMDULILLAH :)
May our concern and humanity stays with us. AMIN. 

Anyway, after a few weeks, this issue will just dissolved. Those people who cursed will forget the whole t.hing and do nothing.
Just like we forgot that MH370 is still missing.
We also forgot that newspapers still haven't make an apology regarding their disrespectful article of my ex colleague who had passed away in Alor Gajah Hospital while on call.
(p.s. I remember him asking me why I was always mad at him. At that time I didn't know that he had a medical problem. I am sorry M***.)

Last but not least, I hope that the mother of three, Wardina, will reactivate her Instagram account again. I think she deactivate it just because she had mentioned that overseas government are more pro active in helping OKU's parents (which might be true).

Stop blaming each other, Malaysians. Focus on the problem, please.
Ask yourself, what can I do to help?

Let's make the world a better place, OK?
Now this is what not only doctor's can heal.

the tale of a tiger who wish to repent

Hye. it had been almost six months I left my blog untouched. 
work had been hectic and tiring. not just physically, but mentally as well.

you see, when you are a house officer, you just do what you are told to do.
but as a responsible medical officer in a surgical department, you need to:
1. re-clerk a patient's history
2. examine patient
3. think of a plan before patient is seen by a surgeon
4. guess whether a patient need a surgery or not (decision of operation can only be made by a surgeon, but you need to know what type of pt that need to be operated now, urgently, emergency or elective, or even may not need operation at all.
5. prepare patient for procedures or operation (ensure blood is taken, imaging etc)
6. do procedures (chest tube, pleural tapping, peritoneal tapping, central line insertions, intubating, cystofix, change ETT, .........)
7. teach houseman (sometimes u even had to teach them the most basic thing, but first posters sometimes had to be taught from A to Z).
8. when a patient collapse, you had to act as a team leader and conduct the resuscitation.
9. see patient in clinic and discuss with  either surgeon, radiologist or even pathologist regarding your patient (today one radiologist asked me to sit next to her and I am amazed of how humble she was when we discuss about a patient. she definitely had changed my previous perception of her!)
10. assist specialist operating. when I was a houseman I don't have any idea what my specialist is doing. Now I need to know the steps, the anatomy, instruments, close wounds and write the operation findings and steps. can I just go back into being a HO and just retract the wound, please?
11. refer cases. some people may scold you when you refer a case, but i hold on to what my boss said "some people may scold u but at least you do what your specialist asked you to do or what you think can help the patient" and "if you did not know how to manage, just refer!"

and many more...

truthfully, I still need to learn a lot.
sometimes i feel inadequate when i can't make a decision like my boss did. 
but then again, they are a specialist with lots of experience. 
their amazing skills makes me inferior.
and though I did not want to be a surgeon, i did feel comfortable in this department.
though my boss keep on asking me why I did not want to be a surgeon, and my answer is always the same "it is too difficult and the scope are too wide, la boss. I don't think I can be a surgeon"

Honestly, I am not a good doctor.
I pray every single morning that I won't scold houseman so much. 
I used to hate MO who are so damn impatient and always raise their voices. 
but it seems that I am becoming one of them too *sigh*
I even tear up a piece of paper and criticize my housemans. 
once, one houseman walk slowly in front of me like I am a tiger and I said to him "I know that I am so scary but I didn't eat human, OK?". then both of us laugh but he laugh so cowardly and said that I am indeed a scary MO.
oh my. what had I become?

my boss said that we were trained that way, and it is not our fault  to be like that.
I keep on telling myself that if I did not scold my HO they will not learn and thus will do a bad thing to our patients. but not all of them are bad, ok? some are reliable and may even tell me if I am wrong.

I may not be a good teacher. I may yell, scold and condemn HO. I know that I was once a HO too so I definitely know how they feel when they were scolded.

so to all housemans out there, forgive me for being impatient. forgive me for shouting at you in front of patients. forgive me for being so damn agitated.

we work for the sake of our patient. so let's strive to do more, okay?

p.s. I am leaving surgical department soon. finally I am free from my one year bond (which is exactly one year and 4months). Yay ! \(^o^)/

Hopefully I can pursue my dream at a new place and new environment. I am looking forward to a less stressful place so that I can be a better person and more skilled in my favorite department (which is definitely not surgical. I wonder how can someone be a surgeon. so many anatomies. so many regions. so many skills. wow. definitely not for me)

you can see that I have lot's of respect to surgeons, eyh?
yup, salute to surgeons. their work are simply amazing.

One day a patient was screaming, rolling on bed, that she even need a PCA fentanyl. The next day after a successful operation, she smiled happily and even request to go home!

A near death bleeding patient survived after a lengthy operation.

A patient who had underwent 4 major operations and was in ICU for many months, makes me shocked when he speaks and he can even walk home. (even  the GA MOs were shocked when I told them about the patient's progress!)

My uncle who was intubated due to respiratory distress, noted had a perforated diverticulum, operated, complicated with a wound breakdown, suffered a stroke as a post operation complication, is now working again and able to support his family.

Lots of cancer patients live like normal person after operation and chemotherapy.

A patient with sepsis so bad and she was so weak that we had inform D.I.L (death in line) to her family, is now pulling my bag when I was examining the patient next to her and showing me her black teeth and blabbing happily  (she is a psychiatric patient).

Those are only some of amazing things I have seen personally in this department.
Luckily, no  one who we said might be dying but somehow had survived, did not sue us.
ahaks.

I love my job. as crazy hectic depressing tiring as it is, this is my job, and I enjoy doing what I did =) 

Frozen heart (ARHJ Part 70)

I have tried to leave him for so many times...
There are even times where I have given up , totally thinking of moving on.

But one day, he told me that he is thankful that I have never give up on him.
I keep on pushing him cuz he is like a snail, who will never budge if I didnt push him.

Weirdly, he said that sometimes he think that he is cruel to me.
I used to think that he might not be aware of that.
Sometimes he makes my melting heart froze.
He even bled my heart slowly and excruciatingly in a sweet, agony way.
He had crushed my hope with his unusual reasons.
So, yeah. He IS cruel to me!

One day, he requested me to ask him why he couldn't leave me.
Truthfully, all I ever asked was why I still haven't leave him yet.
I've walked away so many times but somehow I will end up talking to him happily again.
This addiction is so damn contagious.
Oh, how I wish things are much easier! 

I keep on telling him that I am tired. 

I am sore.

I am beaten.

All "I" went out smoothly, resonating my vocal cord.

But did I ever think of his feeling? 

Perhaps I am too selfish. 

But never mind.

Despite of our rolling quarrels.

Our ups and down.

Our fight and joy.

Our laugh and cry.

We can't stand even one day without each other.

"Tunggulah. Suatu hari nanti aku akan penat" kata Fynn Jamal.

Aku di sini mengharapkan agar aku tidak akan pernah penat.

HANYA Doktor Wanita di WAD&BILIK BERSALIN? Mampukah kita?

Tadi saya membaca link ini https://www.facebook.com/laborroom sebab rasa ingin tahu yang meluap- luap setelah membaca komen kawan sekerja. Tapi malangnya, saya tidak mampu untuk membaca semua komen- komen di situ. Bagi saya, semua orang saling menghentam dan tidak berfikiran terbuka.

Marilah kita semua berbincang mengenai hal ini baik- baik. Duduk semeja, menghadap masing- masing dan tidak meninggikan suara. Boleh tak?

1. Pada pandangan saya, wanita- wanita yang memohon aurat dijaga di kamar bersalin itu adalah mustahil. Sebab wanita dengan wanita pun ada auratnya kan? Jadi kalau nak jaga aurat, boleh tak kami ajar suami puan- puan dan suruh dia yang lahirkan anak kalian?

2. Kenapa aurat di kamar pembedahan tidak dipertikaikan? Tapi kalau aurat di kamar bedah dipertikaikan, macam mana nak memastikan 'sterility' dan kebersihan?

3. Apalah agaknya nasib pakar O&G lelaki kalau anda hanya mahukan perempuan. Penat2 belajar jadi pakar, akhirnya di'reject' di negara yang katanyya kekurangan pakar. Haish. Kesian.

4. Saya bekerja di bahagian pembedahan dan pesakit saya banyak lelaki. Kadang- kadang, saya juga terpaksa memeriksa alat sulit lelaki. Adakah setelah ini saya akan di'ban' dari wad lelaki?

5. Saya pasti kebanyakan dokter adalah profesional. Kami tidak pernah berbincang mengenai aurat pesakit. Trust me, we are so busy with our work to gossip about your 'aurat'.

6. Kalau dokter lelaki tidak diberi peluang untuk belajar, macam mana kalau nanti di 'district' yang kadang- kadang hanya ada dokter lelaki sahaja? Padahal 'aim' kita adalah untuk mengurangkan 'maternal death?'. Kalau 'emergency' macam mana? Nak tunggu dokter perempuan datang baru nak bersalin?

7. Tolong jangan memaksa kami bekerja lebih dari dokter lelaki. Contohnya dalam senario di klinik payudara minggu lepas:

Suatu hari, hanya ada dua dokter wanita dan enam dokter lelaki. Ramai pesakit meminta dokter wanita untuk memeriksa mereka.
Apabila melihat kawan saya yang lelaki menyanyi sambil goyang kaki, saya jadi 'stress' sebab pesakit masih ada tetapi hanya mahukan dokter wanita sahaja.
Hal ini membuatkan sahabat saya yang perempuan yang 'postcall', tidak tidur dari semalam menjadi bertambah 'stress'.  "Kan boleh staff nurse perempuan 'chaperone!" ujarnya.
Akhirnya sahabat saya memberi cadangan agar dokter lelaki tersebut berjumpa pesakit tersebut tetapi dokter perempuan yang memeriksanya.
Bunyi macam mudah. Tetapi untuk memeriksa pesakit kami juga perlu mengetahui 'findings' dan pemeriksaan sebelumnya. Kerja dua kali ini membuat klinik berjalan agak lambat.
Jadi, tolong jangan bising kalau terpaksa menunggu lama di klinik kami, ya.

8. Ramai sahabat saya yang telah berumah tangga stress kerana kurang masa bersama keluarga. Menurut pandangan saya, permintaan anda hanya akan menambah beban kerja dokter wanita.

9. Saya bekerja di wad pembedahan wanita. Setiap kali memeriksa pesakit, kami akan menutup tirai dan menyuruh pelawat untuk keluar wad. Jadi, pelawat harus memahami dan menghormati waktu melawat. Tidakkah anda melihat kami berusaha untuk menjaga aurat pesakit?

Setiap orang ada pandangan berbeza. Tetapi anda harus faham kenapa banyak dokter tidak menyokong petition anda.Ramai juga dokter yang marah dan berkata "Kalau nak pilih, pergilah 'private hospital!".
Bukan apa, kebanyakan pesakit sibuk mengatakan tentang hak pengguna dan marah kerana terpaksa menunggu lama. Padahal kadang- kadang saya nak 'lunch' pun tak sempat. Breakfast pun memang dah selalu 'skip'. Nak pergi bilik air pun kena tahan sekejap sebab kesian pesakit menunggu lama.
Tapi pesakit marah- marah kami tanya bila giliran diperiksa.
Tolonglah. Bukannya saya buat kerja sambil lewa.

OK, mungkin hujah yang terakhir dah 'off topic', tapi rasa penat dengar orang asyik 'complaint' dan 'complaint' dan 'complaint'.
Can you put yourself in our shoes for one day? I bet you can't even stand for one hour.

you are my drugs (ARHJ Part 69)

dear you,

do you remember,

that i always say that you are my piriton? 1

*seriously, i mean it*

it's amazing how your voice can easily lift up my weariness 

and makes me sleep like a baby.

and you know what?

you are my paracetamol too.2

it's the simplest and safest drug of all, 

yet effective to relieve my headache!

 

hmmm... can i say that you are my pethidine? 3

you make my pain go away with just a little bit injection of encouragement, 

and i adore you for that!

when my left chest hurts cuz i miss you so much, 

you take the pain away just like a sublingual GTN. 4

when stress makes the acid in my stomach increases,

you gives me lovely butterflies,5

just like how MMT syrup neutralize gastric juices.6

 

and, last but not least, you are my gengigel.

when life bits me so hard that it gives me an ulcer, 

you coat it with your warmth and love.

truthfully,

i don't think i need any drugs anymore *chuckles*

cuz i only want to prescribe you in my life...

the one and only ^^

footnotes:
1. piriton usually prescribes for flu or itchiness. but it can cause sleepiness.
2. well, who doesn't know paracetamol , right?
3. pethidine is an opioid, a very effective analgesic (pain killer). 
4. GTN = glyceryl trinitrate. the quick relieve of angina.
5. not sure whether this is a good effect or not. ehe~
6. MMT= Magnesium Tricilicate.

sometimes all we can do is to remember (ARHJ Part 68)

i look at the mirror, debating with the person in front of me.
should i message you?
should i just keep quiet?
arghhhh this is so devastating!!!
few times I've dialed your number, but none was answered.
my heart hurt so bad that i wanna take it out from my ribcage and throw it out of my window.
i know there's something wrong. but i just couldn't figure it out.
why oh why????

*if only i know that your house was full of sadness when i blame you for neglecting me*

then the shocking truth was revealed.
oh my.
i had no idea that somebody close to you leaves you so abruptly like that.

when you are in a place where no one wants to be, 

when one of the main branch in your family tree is broken,

don't let your faith ripped out from your heart.

fantasy always feed us on tale of the immortal,

but sadly none of them are real.

but fear not my love, 

cuz love will never die

hopefully ALLAH gives you and your family strength.

AMIN.

Let us pray for arwah.
May ALLAH bless his soul.
Al Fatihah.

storyboard i (ARHJ part 67)

tak tau lar cantik ke tak..uhuk! nie guna laptop edit..simple sangat..tp ni yg first punya..ade 3lg..tp tak publish pun..

writen by HJ ^-^

live LAUGH love (ARHJ part 66)

writen by HJ  ^-^

nasihat untuk medical student

"dokter, nanti saya nak jadi pakar sakit puan" ujar seorang pesakit berusia 15 tahun kepadaku.

puas aku menahan diri untuk memberi komen negatif.

"ok, kalau macam tu awak kene rajin, ok?" nasihatku.

kepada adik2 yang berminat untuk menjadi dokter, tolong (tolong sangat2) persiapkan mental dari awal.

jangan pernah memandang dokter adalah kerjaya yang glamour.

mungkin sering anda mendengar nasihat sedemikian.

sebab itu adalah hakikatnya.

kadang2 rasa kecewa melihat kawan2 dokter yang berhenti atau 'drifting' gara2 MLM (MultiLevel Marketing). 

sampai ada yang berkata kepadaku "tukang sapu sampah lagi hebat dari awak. gaji dia lagi banyak tau".

ok, bukan nak merendahkan taraf sesiapa. tapi penat aku belajar 5 tahun 6 bulan demi segulung ijazah!

dia pulak boleh suka2 nak label orang? huh!

kawan2, tolong lah betulkan niat --> "aku jadi dokter bukan untuk kaya!"

oh ya.

kalau jadi dokter sebab niat nak tolong orang.

tolong lah fikir balik.

kalau ada orang tua nak melintas, sesiapa pun boleh tolong, kan?

kalau ada orang mengandung berdiri dalam bas atau LRT, sesiapa pun boleh tolong, kan?

kalau jadi dokter, sampai ke tua pun harus dan wajib belajar.

segulung ijazah tidak menentukan apa2.

ibarat mendapat lesen kereta.

adakah itu menjamin anda tidak akan mendapat kemalangan?

sudah tentu tidak, bukan?

jadi, kenapa nak jadi dokter?

aku sedih melihat orang yang jadi dokter tapi ada ilmu ghaib (pandai menghilangkan diri).

untunglah bukan semua orang macam ni.

kalau tak haru biru hospital jadinya.

kepada medical students atau houseman (cewah, macam la aku ni dah senior sangat), contohilah pakar2 yang rajin, attitude bagus (contohnya saling menghormati) dan pandai. 

pengalaman mereka banyak. kadang2 nak sedut dan cerna ilmu mereka agak susah (sebab aku rasa banyak sangat yang tak tahu).

bila dah jadi MO, rasa malas nak belajar tu sangatlah besar.

sekarang tengah sibuk memaksa diri untuk kembali menelaah.

suatu hari, ada seorang pakar berkata kepadaku yang dia sudah putus asa untuk mengajar kami.

katanya sebab kalau masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri tidak mengapa. ada jugak lekat di kepala walaupun sekejap. ini masuk telinga kanan pun tidak!

(lepas tu boleh pulak ada seorang houseman menyampuk, "eh, masuk je")

ades....

jadi, jom kita buka buku sekarang! ^^

Kau ada aku & aku punya kamu (ARHJ 65)

AR : 

Aku sadar bukan mudah 

Untuk mengejar mimpi indah 

Pernah suatu ketika dulu 

Ku punya harapan besar 

Kini aku tak pasti 

Dapatkah ku miliki 

HJ :

Sudah jauh kita tempuh 

Kekalkanlah impian lalu 

AR :

Mungkin ada hikmah 

Yang akan menunggu 

Di penghujung jalan

Biar nanti kecewa 

Setidak-tidaknya coba 

HJ :

Jika halangan menduga perjalanan kita 

Janganlah kau putus asa 

Karena ku ada di sisi setia menemani 

Andai semangatmu gugur 

Genggamlah tanganku 

Kita hampir ke situ 

AR : 

Adakala ku terasa 

Ketabahan tak setegar 

Tetapi apakan daya 

Berhenti separuh jalan 

Percayalah padaku 

Aku yakin kita mampu 

AR & HJ : 

Biar orang katakan 

Rapuhnya harapan 

Bukan mereka tentukan lagi 

Kau ada aku dan aku punya kamu 

Amanlah akhirnya tetap bersama 

" Ya Allah..
peliharalah ukhuwah ini..
Moga tiada hasad yang menyelirat jauh di hati yang tersirat..Di jalan Allah.. 
Perhubungan ini adalah perancangan daripadaMu yang mengetahui segala rahsia..
kerana MU lah aku mengenali dia dan kerana Mu jua telah menetapkan ukhuwah itu..
pasti terukir 1001 kenangan dan kasih sayang..walau ada yang membenci..tidak mengapa..kuatkan ukhuwah ini ya rabb..jika dia untukku..dekatkan hati kami..jika disebaliknya..redha kan hati kami dan berikan kebahagiaan kepadanya..jaga dia ya rabb..plzzz... :')
Semuanya kerana Allah..
Sungguh...Bukan kerana selain daripada-Nya..
amiin ya rabb.."

written by HJ..
a little note from AR;
oh ye. real song is actually titled "Hampir ke situ" by mendua