worst week i've ever had

I just came back from a hospital yesterday.
me and my friend [Iman] had been there since last Saturday.

yeah, only two of us, a fifth week peadiatric coass, who knew so little about what we were about to face there.....
And not even once we went back home!
It’s such a torture.
I felt like a SLAVE.
I only sleep two hours everyday……
And I work so hard until i couldn't walk...

what?

u ask me what did i do?

well, here's my schedule

three a.m. [yeah, THREE a.m.]

write all of the baby's status

[which is almost half of page for each baby... and there's so many babies there... of cuz la. it's a maternity hospital!]

six a.m.
check and weigh all of the babies.

eight a.m.
accompany the resident to round the whole hospital to examine on every babies

~they will check the babies' status that we had filled before

~once i was scolded cuz i wrote that the baby is normal while she's so yellowish[jaundice]!!!!!!!!!

~there's too much babies that sometimes i don't check them carefully.

~the next day, me n Iman check them with EXTRA care even though we are so tired and our legs is so ache to even take a small step. haha

ten a.m.

make a 'milk schedule' for every babies in the 'babies room' [dats what it's called]. and follow the resident's intructions such as

'start phototheraphy for baby A!

or

'call the laboratory! ask them to check this baby's billirubin!'

or maybe

'follow up these two patients every three hours!'

huhu

~all of the sick babies are in the 'babies room'

~and this room is like my second home...

~this is where i sleep, eat and work...

~thank god there's a television, which i don't even have time to watch..

~but it's my only connection with the 'outer' world'! hehe

every hour

~check the delivery room if there's any fetuses about to be born

~if there's one, wait n watch the delivery

~if the baby did not cry one minute after born, take them and run [yeah, RUN! it's somebody's life!] to the 'babies room' and suction and resucitate them there.

~if the baby is ok, just do the apgar and ballard score, inject Neo K [yeah, students here can give injections] and examine them

~write the baby's status, which filled the whole page! it consist of examination from head to toe.

~if there's any cesarean section planned by the obgyn doctors, call the paediatric residents, prepare the operation clothes and resucitation's stuffs, then watch the operation and catch the baby.

yeah, i know it sounds easy...

but the delivery room is ALWAYS full!

there is almost twenty deliveries per day!

sometimes the nurses were to lazy to give the babies in the 'babies room' milk that me and Iman had to feed them ourselves.

this baby is too hungry that she 'ate' her friend's leg.... due to limited space, we had to place two babies in one incubator.

sometimes we even had to change their diapers! otherwise they'll keep crying!

some are too mollycoddle. they won't stop crying unless i hold them and sang them a lullaby!

the baby at the right is four kg! she's sooo big dat her chest got stucked while she was delivered. for almost five minutes, only her head popped out from her mum's vagina. everyone tot she's dead. and dat time, peadiatric resident was at home [it's 2 a.m.!] thank god the resident come in time n save da baby. hooray!

but then.......

There was a time where i felt like i don't want to be a doctor.

I felt like i wanna go back home and be a teacher.

the luggage that i bring to the hospital... i only spent seven days there but i bought things like i'm going back home!

i used to be tough....

my fren SMS me and said she only knew the 'strong willed and high spirited' me...

not the 'easy to give up' type

i am a very determined person.

i can even smile while holding a snake.

i can force myself to play netball and futsal though i've injured myself

as i re-read her SMS, i cry...

as a matter of fact,

i cried almost everyday...

and usually not because of the same reason...

first time i cried at the maternity hospital is when i watch Ashraff Sinclair and Bunga Cinta Lestari wedding reception on tv

i cry cuz they seems so happy while i'm stuck at the hospital, changing a baby's diaper. at dat time, i'm so tired and so unhappy ;p

i also cry when i heard newborn babies held by their dad n he will recite the 'azan' to the baby... such a beautiful moment!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cry when i saw mummys' delivering their baby. it's soooooooooooooo painful!!!!

i cry wen baby kasmawati die of HDN [kemorrhagic disease of newborn]

i cry cuz the room at the hospital is so plain while i miss my lovely room [at least i think it's lovely and comfy]

i cry cuz i miss my effy... wanna play with her!!

I CRY cuz i'm so MAD when the nurses think that they are better than me......

i love but i hate my life at the hospital...[how can i exactly describe it?????]

it makes me wanna cry even for the most stupid reason....

it makes me smile seeing those cute babies

it makes me so damn tired

but i gives me a satisfaction no one can ever felt except me myself

anyway, today i went shopping!!!!!!!

had spent almost rm2hundred!! [sorry daddy]

but now i feel so happy!!!!!!

hehe...

and i ate lots of yummy foods today.....

now i feel ok...

gimme more.....

and i promise u....

i'll get through anything till i achieve my dream to be a great DOCTOR......

tagged by shahnaz.. hehe

My Top 10 Most Favorite Foods :

1. Tomyam (especially secret’s recipe’s tomyam!)
2. Shouffle omelet (my own modified recipe~ easy to cook and sooo delicious!)
3. Dark chocolate

4. Tango choco nut

5. Double cheeseburger

6. Mushroom soup

7. Roti puree

8. McD choc sundae

9. Ikan patin masak tempoyak… scrumptious!
10. Anything fried and spicy.. Fattening but irresistible!

Top 10 Things I Love Doing :

1. play games!!!!

2. Read novels

3. Play with Effy my tortoise
4. Listen to Bessy my radio
5. Read blogs
6. Eat, eat and eat [no wonder I’m so chubby now]
7. Window shopping!
8. Chatting via YM
9. Checking my Friendster! huhu
10. Decorating my room?!?!?

5 Things I Love Doing When I'm EMO :

1. Ran away from everyone
2. EAT [again?]
3. Walk alone [usually I window shop. Huhu]
4. play games
5. Sleep. Haha

Top 5 Types of Guys I Adore :

1. Hard working guys
2. Guys with charisma
3. Caring and loving men
4. Egoist guys ~dunno why… but they attract me so much. Huhu.
5. WINNERS… huhuhu

5 Things I Love Doing When I'm Happy :

same with the things I love to do…. Huhu…

5 Things I Wish To Happen :

1. Me being a good doctor
2. Meeting my ‘prince charming’
There lots of things I wish to happen but it’s not too important cuz now, I wanna follow the flow of life and enjoy it!

My Top 10 Most Addicted Song :

1. On my way here ~ clay aiken
2. Wishing on a star ~ OST the tenth kingdom

3. Bleeding love ~ celine dion

4. Take a bow~ Rihanna

5. My only one ~ Mocca

6. Bizarre love triangle ~ Frente

7. Smack that ~ Eminem

8. Last train home ~ Ryan Star

9. If I were a boy ~ Beyonce

10. No Air ~ Jordan Sparks ft Chris Brown

'pEri' GoD MotHeR

At last!

i'm free from the perinatology subdivision!

one week being in perinatology subdivision is like being in a heaven's hell

this subdivision really builds my mental strength


some doctors are great! but some hates me...

yeah, we were all tired.... but i'm a human being...

we are all prone to make mistakes...


but let's just think positive..

maybe they didn't want me to do the same mistakes again....


anyway, when i was in perinatology subdivision, me n my frens were called fairy godmother!

[peri in indonesian language means fairy]

and all six of us DO work like a fairy godmother..


watching all of the babies every hours,

(almost everyone cried wen they see this kid. her mum died when she delivered her due to eclampsia)

feed them,

and hold them whenever they cried.....
(sometimes we even sang lullaby!)

anyway, despite the hard works and the buzzing lectures,


Peri room is kinda colourful!


nurses and me wore white...,

the room is also white with yellow curtain





the baby under phototheraphy light is blue






the face of caring doctors are pink with love




and the face of angry doctors are red!



huhu....

hrmm i need some green



now i remember! our report book is green!

[the book is where we wrote our daily reports... it's a very important book.. once, it is 'stolen' by a nurse who always scold practical doctors in front of other nurses (yeah, i'm one of the victims)]




yesterday, when all of the torture is over,



i was shocked to see how messy my room was!






and look at my table!







and poor effy... i didn't even clean her swimming pool...


so, i quickly change my clothes and clean up my room..




thank god my bessy (da radio) entertained me while i was cleaning.

LIFE IS FUN!

I'm NoT OkAy....

My thin lips become stiff,
Cuz I felt like falling from a cliff.

My hard works burn into ashes,
And flew as the wind gushes.

You are not proactive, she said
Did you wanna be a doctor or a maid?

My eyes blurred with tears
As the words stung my ears

I forgot only a tiny little thing,
Then she assume that my brain got nothing?

Bitter reality is too harsh,
Even though I strive too hard………

the story of the 32 hours shift

7.00 am ~ perinatology room 1

~ resucitating the apneic (temporary absence or cessation of breathing) baby. She's s small! But her heart beats beautifully that it makes us keep trying to help her!

2.00 pm ~ perinatology room 1

still resucitating the baby.

i'm tired.

thank god my friend is around.

we take turn to manually ventilate the baby.

dear baby please breath normally!

we are tired!

but how can we let you die just like that?

3.00 pm~ perinatology room 2

Doctor 'R' asked me to meet her and follow up Baby N who was born with a rare diagnosis...

stevens johnson syndrome + toxic epidermal necrolysis!

his mom had been taking anti hypertensive drugs and he was born like this.

poor boy

he kept crying

and whenever i touch him, he'll cry...

he cried like it's too painful.

but i had to do my job.

had to check on him every 15 minutes.

i'm so hungry but i was told NOT to leave the baby.

so there i sat, alone in a big room with the baby and his grandma.

(his mum is still at their village's clinic)

sigh~

10.00 pm

my friends came with fried bananas and my fav choc milk!

i'm so lucky to have friends like them!

at least now i got something to eat! hehe...

2.00 am

i'm so sleepy.

the baby's grandma pity me and ask me to get some sleep.

But a few minutes later, a doctor come into the room and instruct me to continue follow up the baby every 15 minutes and never leave the baby.

argh~

12 more hours to go!

5.00 am

i'm so hungry and sleepy! i only leave the baby to pray and to the toilet.

my body feels so sticky.

i need a shower!

6.00 am

the baby's grandma gave me something that makes me very2 happy.

FOOD!!!!!!!

i was touched.. the baby's family is so kind and understanding!

7.00 am

take a bath..

now i feel fresh!

i took a shortcut to the toilet via Althaff's room. he's so cute!

i love to play with his chubby face!

this morning he's kinda irritable. but usually he smiles and laugh cheerfully! i always forgot that he got hydrocephalus... poor baby....

8.45 am

go to paediatric lab to sent some lab stuffs

9.15 am

ran to the central lab to fetch some lab results.

better than sitting in the peri room and kept checking the baby (it makes me sleepy)

huhu

10.30 am

Baby N is 'abducted' by the radiology department to do some chest X ray.

i began to ask myself "when will this shifts ends?"

i can't wait to sleep at home!

as the baby is away, i got da chance to sleep in the co assistant room for one hour.

thanks to my partner who's willing to wait in the peri room!

(we can't leave the room. if Perinatology doctors come to the room and saw none of us, they'll be like incredible hulk.. huhu)

hehe...

12.00 afternoon

i'm still sleepy but i had to woke up since the baby had been 'returned'

hrmm normal X ray..

but he had been breathing rapidly since yesterday!

12.30 afternoon

i'm bored so i create a melody by tapping into my new buddy ~ Mr O2 (the oxygen tank)

this is me n my new buddy. hihihi... he's as tall as me!

1 pm

Eye specialist and ENT specialist come to check the baby. Head of Peri department also come. Me and my friend had da chance to learn so much things from them!

2pm

doctor R ask me "where will u go after this? Peri Room 1? PICU? or the emergency room?" (she's referring to the afternoon shifts)

i smile and say

"i'm going home, doc!"

huhu.

at last!

my 32 hours shift ends!

now i can go home to play with effy n get some sleep!

home sweet home!