melancholy part one

i love to be in melancholy mood.

too much laughing makes me cry in the end of the day.

so this kind of mood brings balance in my life.

yeah.

call me weird.

but i've been trying to suppress my over excitedness

i remember being so excited when my MO give me the chance to do an exchange tranfusion (under supervision).

it's like a game!

remove baby's blood in one minute, push in someone else's blood one minute, then pause one minute.

yeah sounds simple.

try doing the same thing over and over again for one and a half hour.

phew!

but i love it! i love to do procedures...

ok, i'm getting excited again.

sometimes i think i'm just masking the sadness in my heart.

i refuse to get over things i should be over with.

yeah, i think i refuse to accept the bitter fact.

time pass by.

i try to fix things that i know that is 'unmendable'

and i end up messing up everything.

what is wrong?

how can i go back to where all things had started to wind up in the wrong way?

how?

tell me how!

so i went here and there

looking for answers

i still couldn't find the answer

but i started to learn one thing -ACCEPTANCE

if that is what ALLAH had planned for me, so be it.

for HE knows better than me.

no more asking how to fix the pumpkin.

the only question now is how to walk in the right path.

and how to stay away from the jittery path.

this is me

and this is my not-so-prefect life!

 

have fun sticking em!

eh ape spongebob ni? 

kiut tak suis saye???

oh ade sinchan juga!!!

wait,  there's moreeee!!!

 uik garangnye angry bird nih!!!!

hehe~

today is my off day.

so i'm thinking to proceed to my other project.

i look at my living room,

 

  and think for few hours....

and then today i said to myself "ah, what the heck, just open it and stick em!"

 i just follow the simple instructions attached, 

and 

voila!!!

i bought all of these stickers from myhomesaloon...
suke sangat!!!
huuuuu


errr.. boleh tak nak lari tajuk sekejap..
suke hati saye lah ni blog saye kan, kan?
 
anyway, i'm working in nursery now..
lots of babies there!!!
so cuteeee
i can't that listening to babies' cry that sometimes i take them and do my work..
(but cannot do this too frequent or the nurses might be mad at me for pampering these cute little creatures)

and i think i'm falling in love with polka dot things now...

 wee~


oklah. 
dats all for now.
buhbye...

daaaa~

updates!

I AM....

currently addicted to coffee... 

especially the hospital's free coffee. 

love to sneak up into the pantry and take a cup of coffee to 'wake me up' in the morning!

I AM....

addicted to karaoke.

love to sing my heart loud.

current fav song: TEGA by rossa.

won't be singing 'sedetik lebih' by anuar zain anymore.

(no need to elaborate that, i guess)

I AM...

craaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy over cheesecake...

 this is so easy to make and so delicious!

no baking.

just mix everything and put it in the fridge.

currently: just experiment with melted choc cheesecake and my friends said they love it!

yeay!

I AM...

still narcissistic

still crazy over makeups and dresses

my face looks different in the two pics cuz the effect of kryolan (make up)

ehe

I AM..

loving my job.

currently in paeds department.

selalu kene tendang masa ambil darah atau pasang branula

selalu rimas dengan ward penuh sampai ade extention bed

selalu main dengan budak2 time2 jobless.

especially 'special' kids.

my fav name dia 'ira'

bila nampak i selalu tanya dia 'makan ape hari ni ira?'

'lur!!!' jawab dia kuat2

(lur tu telur) 

kihkihkih

I AM..

still crazy decorating my home...

my two red sofas are just not enough.

currently: just finish my 'kelambu' project'

looking forward for new project soon!!

I AM...

a shopaholic

current : went to old blossom box and met the owner, jesmine!

but forgot to take pic with her. 

haishs..

but look at my pink heels!!!

and the comfy palazzo pants !!! (and it's PINK too) love~

(had to discard my jeans due to the increasing cellulites over my thigh) =(

I AM..

currently eating mihun tomyam kung 

(my home cincai version)

 with hot coffee..

perfect!~

look at my cute kitty... it makes my coffee time more enjoyable. lalala~

I AM..

happy!

simply just happy with my life.

enjoying my craziness and passion.

how about you?

without word

pic taken from hybrid lava

kapan aku mampu?

 

 "you, jangan tinggalkan i lagi" pintaku padanya genap sebulan yang lalu.

but dat is exactly what you have done  to me.

esok akan genap sebulan kau hilang tanpa khabar.

luka ini mungkin lambat sembuh.

tapi aku yakin ALLAH ada rencana lain untukku.

sakit ini mungkin masih ada.

tapi aku yakin aku pasti mampu melupakanmu.

bayang- bayangmu pasti akan pergi tinggalkan aku,

sebagaimana dirimu lepas dari genggaman aku.

sebulan  telah berlalu.

dan aku menyesal kenapa aku masih belum mampu hidup tanpa memikirkan kamu.

tolong doakan supaya luka ini sembuh.

tolong doakan agar hati aku redha dengan semua ini.

sebab aku masih belum mampu....