still surviving

As i sat down in the air conditioned room, with beeps and tit tit tit from the monitors, suddenly a stupid thought flashes through my mind.
I was thinking, can i change place with them?
"Please sedate me" that's what I was thinking.
Next week will be harder as only few of us left in medical.
Did you know that there will be only 9 houseman in medical department next week who are able to 'on call'???
And in one day, there are supposed to be 5 of us 'on call', each covering two or three wards. (There are time where one houseman cover one ward, which I never experience at all)
I wish I can be stronger than this and able to work faster.
Please Ya ALLAH
Give us strength.
Give us strength to keep moving on.....
Please.....

I don't want to complaint
I just wish am able to live with this condition which really 'tearsl me up outside and inside.
Thankfully most of the medical officers are so helpful and understanding, especially dr. M, who even went down to lab and radiology centre to help me...

Still surviving,
Ainulrhy

High dependency ward,
12 am

silent wish

Wish have more time for myself.
Somehow, always imagine myself at a seaside, with clear blue water and white sand, just like in Lombok or Bira.
I miss treating and pampering myself.
Oh how miss those old good days.....