it's mama's birthday!!!!

i made this 'childish' card just for mama.
seriusly takde idea.
i just warnakan my right hand with water colour and stamp it to a cardboard, conteng2, and VOILA! jadilah card yang xberapa chantek nih. but at least it's handmade. i like handmade cards rather than those beautifully printed cards sold at gift shops =p

hmmm... anyway, can u guys guess my mum's age??

here's mama and alieff, my youngest brother, during the third 'Hari Raya'. people always thought mama is my elder sister!

looking at her, nobody would believe she's 44 years old this year.

she looks young, right?

i always make mama worried. i wish i was a better daughter. secretly i think i had failed her. but there are still winding roads ahead. let's just pray for mama's happiness, ok?

love u so much, mama!

andai

kalau aku lampu kalimantang,

mungkin aku lampu yang sudah malap,

yang sebentar menyala,

sebentar padam.

kalau aku kerusi antik,

mungkin aku kerusi yang patah sebelah kakinya.

dibuang sayang,

disimpan menyakitkan mata.

kalau aku cermin,

mungkin aku cermin yang sedikit retak di bahagian atas hujung kanan.

sekali pandang biasa saja.

diteliti banyak celanya.

tapi aku ini manusia,

bukan lampu, kerusi atau cermin,

yang tidak makan hati kalau dicemuh.

yang tidak membidas jika ditegur.

dan...

yang tak lepas dari melakukan salah dan silap.

kepada semua hati yang pernah kusakiti....

kumohon padamu,

tolong maafkan kesalahan aku.

the girl without a face

hey you!

i order u to stop!

.

.

can't u hear me?

argh!

i've been searching for the 'off' button with various ways,

but none of my attempts seems to avail.

dear my brain..

could you please stop thinking even just for a sec?

please?

i know i sounds foolish but i need to stop thinking about weird stuffs so damn much.

i dunno why,but it makes me

sad,

uncertain,

dumbfounded,

and

blurry.

kerenah ayam di kampungku

aku suka kacau ayam dua ekor yang tengah bertelur ni.

kalau datang dekat dia je 'confirm' dia 'kembangkan' bulu2 kat leher dia.

salah dia, la.

sape suruh bertelur dekat tempat letak bawang?

tengok ayam dua ekor kat bawah tu! chumil kan?

aku tanye soalan agak aneh kat mak aku haritu.

"mama, ayam ni tak makan ke?"

mama jawab "taklah."

"yang jantan tak tlg bg makan?"

"manade. sebab tu orang panggil bapak ayam"

"ooo"

macam soalan budak kecik je eyh?

tapi serius aku tak tahu.

kesian lak ibu ayam mengeram sorang2 tak makan dan minum.

lepas tu..

kitorang sembelih 4 ekor ayam.

tapi hanya 3 je yang mati.

sekor tu leh lak pergi melompat lepas kene sembelih.

salah sembelih la tu.

kesian dia.

sempat lagi lak bertelur lepas tu.

sekarang da mati kot.

jap lagi aku gi tengok kat reban ayam nenek eyh.

mane tau dia hidup lg.

haaa....

kalau korang nak tau...

nenek aku kata....

kalau ayam tak buat macam ni tak sedap!

pertama kali aku kene suruh pasang api kat dapur kayu ni.

aku pun blur.

siap kene guna getah tayar basikal untuk nyalakan api.

pening2.

sebenarnye nak tambah banyak lagi gambar tapi berukband kat kampung ni lembap la wei.

lain kali kita jumpa lagi wokeh.

buhbye~

it's not black and white. it's a colourful RAINBOW!

Yeay.

Dah exam!!!!
Wee~~~~
(Alhamdulillah)
Habis dah posting di bahagian Radiologi
Actually, Radiology memang ‘wow’ tau.
It needs lots and lots of great imaginations.
Ok, Enough talk.
Let me show u how radiologist make their black and white world more interesting.


mousetail appearance (focus on the tail only, ok?) --> achalasia


batwing appearance --> lung edema


apple core --> rectal cancer


pear shaped heart --> normal


honeycomb appearance --> bronchiectasis


bamboo spine --> ankylosing spondilytis


they called it guci --> pericardial effusion
i seriously didn't know what they call it in English.
oh, macam mane nak jadi dokter kat Malaysia nanti??

huwargh...
(menguap besar2 sambil mengeliat)
ade warna warni pon i still feel sleepy tgk gambar black and white nih.
hikshiks
ade banyak lagi istilah macam 'step ladder', 'herring bone', sunburst' dan 'spider leg'.
i think those terms are cute!
ehe~

hmmm... dari beberapa gambar nih,
ade nampak persamaan tak?
oh kalau tak nampak tengoklah sampai mata juling2.
lalala~

sorry jika ada kesalahan atau mutu gambar kurang.
this is just for fun je.
ngee~

mane pergi ni?

cari bawah kerusi
tapi takde
cari bawah meja
takde jugak
cari dalam almari
jumpe yang lain la pulak
haishs
ceruk mane nak cari lagi nih?
puas dah menyelongkar macam tikus!
kat manela dia menyorok nih?

kamu boleh tolong aku?
ye, kamu. takyah tengok kiri kanan.
aku tengah mencari semangat nak exam aku yang hilang nih
ade nampak tak?
nasib baik semangat nak balik tak terlalu over sampai dah start packing
(packing dalam otak je)
ehe~

hmmmm...
note to self --> take note of this lyric
"aku terlahir di dunia ini bukan sebagai pecundang"
*wink wink
(/,")
strive for this last department!
nanti da pass leh masuk final year!
wee~

tantomers untuk si alip golip

kak, nak tantomers!!!!
punyela happy si kecik tu mintak DVD transfomers.
semangat betul.
dengan gaya chumilnye
(tengok kakak dia la. kami berdua sama2 chumil. wakakaka)

si alip golip ni kuat melalak.
melalak di sini ade dua maksud.
melalak kuat nanes...


dan melalak tak hengat dunia macam nih...


oh, hobi dia lagi satu membunuh!
kalau kene tembak, tapi kamu tak pura2 mati, dia akan menangis kuat2.
sangat2 siksa apabila dia mula mengeluarkan pistol dan pedang sakti dia.

beng! beng! die! die! die!

kitorang jugak berjaya menurunkan ketagihan game kitorang kepada si kecik ni.

aku ngan adik aku no 2 selalu main game lama2.
6jam didepan laptop main game adalah perkara biasa.
ya, kami memang addicted.
so what?

alip ni memang banyak kerenah.
anak bongsu la katakan....

tapi dia ni oh sangatla hensem bila berbaju melayu!
tengoklah. hensem kan, kan?


semua gambar ni tahun 2006.
tulah kali terakhir aku balik rumah lama2. enjoy2.
lepas tu selalu balik seminggu dua je.
tak dan nak bergambar.
asyik dok main2 je ngan si kecik yang manje ni.
semua kakak dgn abg dia da kat asrama.
kesian lak dia sorang2...
tapi...
untung ade dia temankan mama.
lg kesian mama dok umah sunyi je da takde kitorg bising2.
oh sangat windu sume!
hikshiks

anyway, alip golip hari ni ENAM tahun!!!!!!
happy birthday alip golip cayang!

p.s. kat Malaysia banyak swine flu kan?
balik nanti nak pakai macam ni lah.

lalala~

selamat hari raya!

lama tak hantar kad raya kat orang eyh?

hmm...
macam ni lagi senang...



SELAMAT HARI RAYA kawan- kawan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'pecah kaca pecah gelas. sudah baca, harap balas'

ehe~

ini bukan puisi

B........
jgn pernah kau mengambil kesempatan di saat aku paling rentan.
cukup sudah penderitaan aku.
kenapa masih terus mencari aku?

lebih baik kamu pergi
sebelum kamu juga jadi seperti mereka yang menyakiti aku
lebih baik kamu anggap aku tidak pernah wujud....
daripada suatu saat nanti,
kamu menjilat ludah kamu sendiri.

jangan bilang kau berbeda

kerana bagi aku

SEMUA LELAKI SAMA

bowing

mane2 hitam putih

tgk sini hitam



tgk sane putih



bosan~

=(

the rain

finally, it's raining!!!
the air smells so fresh
and the sound of the raindrops hitting the ground makes me singing happily.
oh, how i miss the rain!
i lie still on my bed
under my blanket.....
saviouring the 1st rain in two months
and began to daydream....
silly thoughts started to taint my mind
aching my heart
ruining my mood
hey, i am still sane, ok.
i just need some time to 'rephrase'.
this sickness is killing me.


oh, no....

hujan dah berhenti

sad~

i'm sick

i'm sick

got a fever and my back hurts like hell

i'm sick!

sick of sweet talking guys

i'm sick!

sick of my boring routines

i'm sick!

sick of my damn slow laptop

i'm sick!

homesick

*sigh

lumpur dan masa depan

watch Lumpur and Future!!!!!!!!!!
a.s.a.p!!


(click the banner, please.)


Future is like some 'futuristic' movies where everything is determined by the government and nobody is allowed to SPEAK. it's great!
i wonder why all Malaysian sci fi or 'scientific-stuffs' movies that i had watched includes HUMOR.
it makes the quality very low.
but 'future' is good. don't need any humor to make me laugh (cynically)..

ok, i shouldn't say more.
don't want to get arrested.
hihi.

please don't get me wrong.
i'm pro gov, though i haven't register as a 'pengundi', yet. i'm at Indonesia, how can i vote?
people here praises Malaysia for funding their students to study overseas.
Malaysia sangat pemurah, they said.
but they have their own opinion about our political stability too. (or should i say... instability?)

whatever happens in our mother country,
we are always questioned by some curious citizens here. (don't blame them. i'm curious, too)
it's not easy.
because we don't even know what actually happened back there.

but all i know is that....
i love my country,
no matter what.






but could we become more united....... please???????

ok, i am so 'terpengaruh' with 'lumpur' and 'future' now. hihi.
i've realised that most of 15malaysia touch the 'multiracial' stuffs. great job, producers! let's hope this short films can actually 'change' something.
people, don't just watch.

THINK. and ACT.

3rd jackpot

phew.....
what a life!
just got a third jackpot last saturday.
and what i meant by 'jackpot' is dat i just got dumped few days before exam. AGAIN???
wow, this is such a good record!
actually 'dumped' isn't a good word. i dunno what i should called it. ehe~
my first jackpot was a few years ago, when my bf for 3 years had left me a day before 'traumatology' exam. and how i cried when i answered those questions! (luckily i didn't fail)
second, Mr. Conman, the biggest liar in da whole world, who had changed his number 2 days before my 'Internal medicine' exam, and dissappeared!!!
and now, the 'future doc guy'. our one month relationship didn't last long. few days before i'm supposed to undergo my 'cardiology' exam, he suddenly didn't wanna answer my calls and SMS. and after some help from his friend, he SMS me, saying dat his family had chose a wife for him.
as if i'm gonna believe that lame excuse!!!!
and now the truth reveals.
he had been dating his ex gf again.
oh,ok.
but could he at least be a gentleman and confront me????????????
i'd rather he said "ainul, i hate u", rather than just "ainul, could u plz give me few days to calm myself down? please don't call me or find me for the time being"
argh!
we had started our relationship with a good way. do we have to end it in a BAD way?
i mean, we are adults, right?
why don't he act like an adult?
what if we met again in other departments?
did he have any guts to talk to me again?
i am STILL a human.
don't make me look like a fool, ok.
thankfully, this time i didn't cry that hard.
when Mr Conman had left me, i had learn dat we could never ever let our personal problems affect our work life.
well, let's look at the bright side.
one day, when i had become a real doctor, everyday is like an exam.
so if i let my personal problems 'interfere' with my work life, i may end up giving wrong prescriptions and order wrong examinations for my patients, right????
and how fatal that could be???????????

life is great!!!!
it gave me thousand of reasons to cry, but i will make sure that i can find a million reasons to SMILE.....

p.s. this is nasi bakar. very delicious, i tell you!! i like~