for my beloved Babah

yesterday is Father's day, right?

Father's Day is a day honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society

people are sending gifts, love and hugs with their dad, 

but i do nothing. 

i didn't call my dad, or even SMS him. 

usually,

the only reason i SMS my dad is to ask for money. 

and the last time i called my mum was when i had lost my laptop.

i am not a good daughter, am i?

actually, the reason why i didn't contact my dad is because that i hate the fact that we can't afford a new laptop. 

i've been thinking, how can i go through IKM (i'll enter IKM next week) without a laptop? 

there are lots of assignments and research to do. 

my friends were worried, for they had already go through that division. thus they offered me to borrowed theirs. but they wanna use it too, right?

i feel so boring at home without a laptop.

no more games. no more editing pics, no more blogging.

and i didn't live at RUSUN anymore. so not even my best friends were around.

and that makes me angry... and depressed.

i always cry alone in my room, hating everything including myself. 

but this morning, 

i suddenly realize everything....
i had been asking too much from my dad.

Babah had always supported me, financially and spiritually.

when i said i don't have any money , my dad will bank in money A.S.A.P

there was a time when he SMS me and said he'll sent it after two days.

i cried, because i need to photocopy my assignments and there are so little money left. 

but the next day, my mum said that my dad had transferred money. 

somehow, i feel so guilty that i cried again....... 
and whenever i blog about how depressed i am, he will comment, and tell me to focus and never look back. 

Arieff is going to america soon, 

Aizza had just change school. 

and Amie is going to sit for SPM exam.

life is really hard for us now.

i know.

i really hope our problems will be over soon.
and i miss those times when we were all together...

you know what?

everytime i SMS my dad, i can picture his worried face.

i can feel that he is striving hard to feed us.

sometimes....

i look at my friends with jealousy, but then i look at the kids on the street. 

and i realize....

how lucky i am to have a dad like babah. 

i don't need a Spiderman or even a Batman. cause i have my own Superman. 

i called him Babah.

pics from 

mihyanie  

teacherholly  

grammyandpoppyk
maraculio