morning walk

cute tak sliper strawberry saya????

today i woke up early though it's my off day. i guess we can't change a habit easily right?
and i've been longing to go to beach since yesterday.
don't know why. maybe i miss the wave.
or maybe the way those smooth sands under my feet.
i woke up at 6am, but after Subuh i fell asleep.
when suddenly at 8am, my 'abg angkat' msg me and 'force' me to go to jog at the beach and buy fresh fish afterwards.
which is exactly what i did this morning!!
truthfully, i'm a little bit tired of putting on weight and being 'bullied' by him.
so i drove to Pantai Puteri..

it is not a beautiful as Bira beach in Makassar, but i still love the smell!

love this shot. especially the bird!

lots of dog prints here. but luckily i didn't encounter any dogs at all during my walk

after the walk (i didn't actually jog.. ehe~), i bought ikan kembung (fresh from the sea!) and nasi lemak with Kopi O.
feels good to get out of bed and do something useful.
i think i'm going to do it again someday.
if only there was a beach as beautiful as Bira..
oh how i miss Bira beach

at least x cantik mcm bira pun kalau ade yg cntik mcm kt samalona ni pon best!!!

saya suka pasir pantai putih!!

p.s. cari2 gambar Bira xjumpe la pulak. pdhl dah tiga kali pergi... hiks
p.s.s. my mum thought i had a problem cuz i wrote in my facebook status dat i'm walking alone at the beach early in the morning. sweet kan mama saya? ^.^

raise your hand if u ever assist a 12 hour operation!

it all started since early morning.
i was assigned to assist a planned procedure, where my surgeon plan to explore the pancreas of Mr. S, who had alleged MVA (motor vehicle accident) last month.

this is a pancreas. yes i know it doesn't actually smile like that. ehe~

8 am
After the GA (general anesthesia) doctor had review the patient and satisfied, the patient was brought to the OT (operation theater) room.

as a houseman, it is my job to fill up the white board with patient's name, type of surgery, diagnosis, surgeon in charge, GA doctors, scrub, circulating and GA nurses, and the MA (medical attendant) in charge.

then i must prepare patient's antibiotic and insert catheter

then only i scrub in and assist the surgeons

p.s. did you know how to differentiate ranks in OT?
as people didn't wear any name tags and wear mask, we wear different color of cap.
specialist: pink
nurse:  blue
doctor: green
sister: yellow 
student: white

8.45 am
operation started.
layers of abdomen were cut
did you know how many layers we had to cut? this is a common viva questions in surgical posting!
here's the answer :
1. Skin
2. Fascia (Camper's fascia, Scarpa's fascia)
3. Muscles (Rectus abdominis, External oblique muscle, Internal oblique muscle, Transverse abdominal muscle)
4. Fascia transversalis
5. Peritoneum

so we had breached the peritoneum shortly but there were adhesion everywhere!!
the mesenteries were glued to each other that no organs were visible.

click to get a better view of mesentery

1pm
after 4 hours, we had drained out all of the pus, but still we couldn't find the pancreas.
my surgeon decided to rest for a while so all of us went to the pantry to eat (except for the GA doctors lah. they were responsible to keep the patient sedated)

then the operation continue....
bloods were spurting..
tie, cut, tie cut...
and me was retracting the whole time with a deaver

this is a deaver. we use it to retract to get a better view of the inside of the abdomen

my leg hurts so bad, nurses had changed shifts, but we were still operating!
there was even times where i almost dozed off. hihi.
thankfully my surgeon didn't realize that.
it must be so damn tiring for him, right?

 4pm
six hours had gone by when the surgeon said he can't repair the damage and decided to took out the spleen and half of the pancreas!
but it was so hard.
the spleen was stuck to the stomach, and also to the intestines.
i was amazed how my surgeon can be patience with those adhesion!
i lost count of how many pints of blood the GA doctors had tranfused.
at last we managed to took out the spleen and half of the pancreas

reminder: don't ever enter an operation without memorizing the anatomy!!!!!

the operation finish at 8pm.
but i still got jobs to do.
i must label the specimens, type up the procedure and findings in the computer, and filling up forms.
the operation had made me dizzy.
i never ever assist an op more than 3 hours.
phew, i can't even walk after standing up for more than 12 hours.
what a tiring day!!!!
but it is a great experience!

p.s. rasa macam hero pun ade. hihi

wordless wednesday (kenapa saya suka rumah saya)

and they lived happily.. errr?

seriously?

sceptical sebab baru je seorang lelaki yang baru kahwin sebulan ajak kawan saya keluar.
and when my friend reject his offer he asked why
kawan saya jawab "kan u dah kahwin!"
"so kenapa?"
oh my...
boleh tak ketuk kepala lelaki itu untuk saya!!!!

kenapalah takde lelaki single nak dating dengan saya (err ok sbnrnye 'kawan saya' itu adalah saya)
haish.

benci benci benci..

rumbling mumbling of a doctor

hye

dah lame tak cerita sesuatu yang berfaedah.

asyik membebel pasal 'love life' yang macam 30 februari (quoted from someone), which mean dat it doesn't exist.

lepas tu membebel pasal make up.

huuu.

oklah, let's talk about my job.

yes, i am a doctor.

yes, my job sounds like wow.

people ask me about assisting surgery, delivering babies, pleural tapping, stitching, or even about procedure as simple as blood pricking.

hell yeah i can do all of dat!

and when i told them yes, i've delivered lots of babies even when i was a student in Indonesia they was like  "WOW!"

haha. sometimes i feel like their reactions is kinda cute.

makes me feels a little bit enlighten.

enlighten from thinking that my job is a burden.

enlighten from those stress of working extra hours yet allowance that had been promised since september still M.I.A (missing in action)

 ehe~

there was one day when i was buying groceries when the cashier asked me "you are a doctor, right?"

i was stunned. i asked her where did she met me.

she told me that i had delivered her first baby.

and before that she was in great pain, but i kept coming to her every time she shrieks in pain..

"nak bersalin memangla sakit, kak. akak sabar ye" she quoted me.. 

i just say it nicely cuz i remember my mama said she was traumatized with harsh nurses in labor room when she was in labor. 

but hearing the woman said that, with big smile, at least it doesn't make me feel as useless as how 'someone' made me feel.

that 'someone' had even said 'i don't think we need a house officer. a department can run without a house officer'

wow, seriously???????????

oppss... oklah. let's pretend that i never told you that.

i don't want to discuss things that may spoil my future.

anyway, even when some people think that you are so stupid or useless,

some patients may make me feel otherwise.

like when patients thank me for pricking their veins and do dressing, even though the procedure makes them uncomfortable.

nice patients makes me enjoy my works.

lalala~

i love my job.

so no matter how many rejections or disapproval i get,

they can't break me.

i promise i will find at least one positive thing each time during my shift, so dat i wont make me feel 'dishonored' or unhappy.

and for those who can't handle stress, please, please kindly find another profession.

if you can't stand for 12 hours straight, and you can't keep my mind sane for at least 12 hours, cuz with shift now you only work 12 hours a day, please find another job.

and if you can't work with people, i repeat, please find another job!

i don't want to complain too much. people said that we had been complaining too much. or were pampered like a baby. 

i don't think my mum agree with that.

look how hard my job had made me.

look how it had made my skins rough

look how it had 'stoned' my heart.

i had even learn how to make myself 'deaf'.

there was one patient who said to my friend "teruknya marah perempuan macam tu. depan pesakit pulak tu! kesian doktor tu" (he was referring to me being scolded)

and i was like "oh aku kene marah ke tadi?"

dah takde rasa malu dah kene marah depan orang.

yang penting muhasabah diri, tanya diri sendiri, kenapa kene marah.

kalau takde buat salah mesti tak kene marah kan?

kan?

jadi buat apa menangis sebab kene marah.

lebih baik menangis sebab diri sendiri yang tak cukup pandai lagi.

okay?

i hope i will stay positive.

lagi setahun je nak habis housemanship ni.

yeay!

tak sabarnye.. 

weeee~

rahsia wanita Indonesia

p.s. tau tak kenapa artis indonesia cantik  sangat? 

kulit putih, licin, gebu?

mesti ramai tertanya2 rahsinya kan?

haritu ade nurse tanya saya kenapa.

saya pun dengan murah hati kongsi rahsia yang bukan lg rahsia tu..

ha.. rahsianya, selain dari jamu2, ialah kryloan!!

kryolan ni kalau xde memang tak sah.

pergi orang kawen memang diaorg akan pakai punya!

lepas dah pakai memang kulit nampak lain gila!

tak percaya tengoklah perbezaan gambar di bawah, ok..

tanpa kryolan

dengan kryolan

walaupun gambar pertama sy siap pakai hood ala2 yuna, tp gmbr kedua kulit nampak lg berseri, kan, kan?

dulu masa kat Indonesia siap beli kain sama,pergi make up kat salon dengan harga rm25 sahaja, dan pergi studio untuk posing sakan!

hehe..

windu pulak Indonesia.

more pics of me wearing my kryolan!

just old pics recycled back.

sorry kalau dah bosan tengok gambar yang sama!

(sy mmg narsis. hehe)

ni pakai nipis2 je

ni memang saya tumpuk tebal2. sj try test. hehe

one of my Indonesian mate said that a makeup bag is not complete without a bright red lipstick!!!!

bile pakai tebal2, kryolan ni buat kulit tak berpeluh. 

jadi make up takkan cair

tapi lepas pakai kene bersihkan betul2 dan cuci bersih2, bagi kulit bernafas dengan baik..

oh ya.. kalau kulit kering, kene guna pelembap banyak2 sebab nanti dia tak rata dan jadi 'patchy'

nak tau lebih tentang kryolan? klik lah sini (iklan ini tidak berbayar)

p.s. kryolan ade tamat tempoh x?

kryolan saya dah dua tahun masih banyak lagi dan masih elok je... hihi