happy birthday? (ARHJ Part 55)

April is supposed to be an awesome month for us, where he will finally come to meet me.
but i just found out a bitter truth few days ago. 
at first he kept saying "this Thursday... " and then he said nothing. just leave me hanging like that.
so i thought that he wants to come on that day (which is today).
but it hurts so much to know the truth.
he won't come today.
i also doesn't want him to come.
why?
because if he did that, then i know that i have all the reason to be jealous of his ex girlfriend, who had passed away few years ago.
i know, i know. don't nag at me.
why on earth should i be damn jealous of someone who had died?
but apparently, he had many memories of her.
while both of us, what did we have?
we haven't even meet each other yet!!!!
it is so damn depressing that i cried when i know the truth.
but i think i had to thank her.
she had bring great impact in his life.
and he always share with me a lot of things that she had taught him regarding our religion.
thank you, dear I**

p.s. i know i shouldn't be jealous of her.
after all, he is mine now, right?




please don't misunderstand me. 
i won't ask him to forget her.

the past is history1.

but the future is our story.

i think it is not a sin if he still think of her, for she had once bring him happiness.
i think she was a wonderful girl.
but ALLAH loves her more.
may her soul rest in peace.
Al fatihah.
 
p.s. how to wish Happy Birthday to a deceased person?

footnote: does the word history comes from 'his story'? hmmm