sinyu

saat aku melihat dia dan 'si dia',
tiba2 secebis rasa membekas di hati.
lalu aku lihat sekeliling.
dan aku lihat......
tiada siapa melainkan kau.

saat aku dihulur sebuah kad cantik bersulam bunga,
tiba2 rasa aku merasa sedih.
lalu aku terokai ruang hati.
dan aku menemukanmu sekali lagi.

dan kau......
tetap menemani aku.
menyelimuti aku saat sang gembira pergi.
membungkam hawa sekitarku........

boleh tak aku panggil kau 'sinyu'?
tapi aku panggil kau sinyu,
bukan kerana kau mirip teman antagonis dalam Doraemon itu.
bukan.
tidak sekelumitpun kamu sama dengan dia.
tapi sekurang- kurangnya.....

ia tidak sekelam namamu.

pergi jauh2, sinyu!
aku tidak mahu kau terus di samping aku.

apa? 

kau tidak mahu dipanggil sinyu?

baiklah SUNYI,

mulai hari ini aku tidak akan lagi berteman denganmu!

p.s. thank u ayu_caro for kicking 'sinyu' outta my life. u r such a GREAT friend!

 ayu and me

ehe~

of weddings, fashion and cultures

i went to a wedding last night and i can't help to think about the differences of Malaysia and Indonesia in style, fashion and culture.
 if an Indonesian go to a Malaysians' wedding, i think they will say that malaysians are 'selekeh', improper or anything like that (this is my opinion, ok).
while if a Malaysian go to an Indonesians' wedding, they will say that the Indonesians really work hard to impress. can u imagine that they even went to the saloon for hairdo and makeup!
my first impression of the indonesians here is that they really2 DRESS TO IMPRESS. imagine, even a not so beautiful woman can look so pretty because of her make up and her tranparent kebaya that is traditional yet so damn sexy. sometimes, even though fats were protruding everywhere, they have an amazing confidence to wear tight outfit. and that is........ AWESOME! (i meant their bravery and confidence, ok)
now most of the weddings i've been here in Makassar is super duper beautiful because they have live bands, with colourful draperies, nice flowers and well mannered people. the guys wear coats, you know. have you ever seen Malaysian guys wearing tuxedo to a wedding? never right? (except for some of the rich and famous people, i guess).
well, maybe i am biased. here i always go to 'rich and famous' peoples' wedding (such as my supervisors' son and my very rich friend, while in Malaysia i always go to moderate peoples' wedding).
but u know what, i think the people here really think that you have to wear really nice clothing to a wedding. and not to mention they always wear similar colour (not just similar colour, but similar types of fabric!). thus, every wedding, they have one uniform, made from similar fabric but tailored into different styles, which always makes my mouth gap.

 get what i mean? my colleagues looks gorgeus and smart, right?

(this is during Tiwi's wedding at Clarion Hotel. and i think her wedding is the most beautiful wedding i've ever been v(^.^)

at another wedding. the girls wear the same fabric, but different styles. so creative and daring, right?

i am not used with the lifestyle of this people who were born with silver spoon in their mouth, which sometimes makes me feels green with jealousy, but sometimes, it makes me feels uneasy.
actually, people here in Makassar have almost similar culture with the Malay in Malaysia. one of the similarities is that on the akad nikah's day, there were 'erang- erang' which is  like the 'hantaran'. and 'malam berinai' is called 'mappacini'.

well, we ARE 'serumpun' right? ehe~

oklah. now let the pictures do the talking ^^

last thursday was my first time wearing 'baju bodo'. 

my first impression was : this is a weird clothing.

before this, i dunno how to wear it!

lia is teaching me how to wear the 'baju bodo'.

"tie your 'sarung' at the left" she said. 

if you tie it at the right, it means that you are married. 

ahaks

and voila! this two malaysian girls had succeed wearing the Bugis traditional wear

(left : Balqis. right: me)

ayu and me during Dr. A's akad nikah, when we were asked to carry the 'erang2'

the 'erangers'. hahahaha

muthe', ayu and me during dr A's reception last night.

last night we were asked to be the 'pagar ayu', where we had to stand in line and greet the guests. it's so damn tiring but such a nice experience!

oklah...

more piccies will be uploaded later. 

tunggu.......

p.s. 

sorry to publish the pix without asking, my friends. 

please don't feel offended.

peace, no war....

btw, you guys looks AWESOME!

we aren't human, aren't we?

pagi tadi mase aku tengah duduk dekat nurse counter a.k.a meja batu (walaupun kami bukan nurses, memang kami biasa standby kat situ) sambil menghafal long case mengenai Omphalocele, tibe2 ade dua orang kawan aku berdiri depan aku sambil berdebat. aku pun diam, dan pura2 menghafal pelan2, padahal aku tengah sibuk mendengar perbahasan mereka.

yang satu sibuk nak ber'demo', yang satu menentang keras.

lama mereka berdebat, masing2 tidak mahu mengalah.....

lama2 aku pon menyampuk "maaf, sy rasa berdemo itu tidak professional!"

dua2 kawan aku tengok muka aku. yang satu tersenyum, yang satu menggaru kepala....

kawan aku lagi dua orang kat sebelah sibuk membaca senarai nama patient dan diagnosis mereka, tanpa memperhatikan kami bertiga...

perbualan kami bertambah hangat dan panas. semua berbalah pendapat membicarakan isu yang membuat semua mahasiswa marah dan mahu memberontak.

masalahnya begini:

Adakah patut hospital meminta kami, practical students, untuk membayar Rp60k SEMINGGU?????

sangat IRONI kan?

setiap hari kami ke hospital, untuk menuntut ilmu, dan disuruh buat kerja macam2, dari terima keluhan patient sampailah mengambil darah dan menggantikan verban, tiba2 kami yang disuruh bayar???????????????????

jadi dapat tak kalian bayangkan kenapa kitorang marah? dan sedih? dan kecewa?

maybe they don't need us, that's what i think.

it's ok. 

sebelum ini aku tak pernah marah kalau nurses malas dan marah2 aku. sebab aku fikir, aku nak belajar.

sebelum ni aku tak pernah marah pekerja lab lambat sangat datang ambil darah, sampai akhirnya aku ambil sendiri dan suruh keluarga patients hantar ke lab.

sebelum ni aku tak pernah kisah tidur di dalam bilik sempit beralaskan tilam nipis tanpa kipas dan aircond.

tapi kalau betul2 dia nak minta kitorang bayar setiap minggu, could you please at least respect us???

sampai kadang2 kami berfikir mungkin kami bukan manusia.

bukan manusia sebab kadang2 tak tidur malam tapi masih dipaksa belajar dan mengikuti kuliah dan visite.

bukan manusia sebab kadang2 tak boleh pergi makan dan disuruh menunggu tak pasti.

bukan manusia sebab dimarah oleh nurses yang dapat gaji, tapi padahal kitorang yang buat kerja diaorang.

this is so damn outrageous!!!!!

it is ok if we are overworked and not paid, but u can't ask us to pay rp60k per week!

tapi bukan semua hospital macam tu. ada satu hospital ada wing khusus untuk koas, lengkap dengan katil dan aircond, dan makanan!!!! wow, memang best lah kalau dapat hospital tuh. 

tapi ada beberapa hospital yang aku terpaksa tidur dengan bau hamis kucing dan darah (dan hospital tu yang suruh kitorang bayar!!! oh, my!! can you believe it?)

peraturan itu membuat semua orang marah, dan tidak puas hati. apa lagi residents, yang kebayakan dah berkeluarga tetapi bekerja bagai nak rak dan tidak dibayar, dan bertanggungjawab terhadap semua patients. 

akhirnya....... harini dalam sejarah, para koas dan dokter pergi berdemo (tapi demo secara aman)... dan akhirnya undang2 itu DIBATALKAN!!!!

weeee~~~

but alas.....

the damage had been done.

you already told us how u neglect our feelings, and our existence as a human being.

we aren't human, aren't we?

sigh*

bila mama pun dah ade facebook

sangat chumillah mama saye! 

same macam anak dia...

lol

saye sayang mama saye sangat2

ehe~

kerja sambilan

maap ye. 

saye tau saye dah tandatangan surat takkan bekerja kat negara orang.
tapi sebab terdesak nak cari mata pencarian tambahan, 

saye jadi tukang kebun sementara waktu.

ngehngehngeh

in the midst of the loneliness

You know what? 

I think I’m such a hopeless romantic young woman 

(young woman, okay. Not a girl. Ehe~)
Right now I’m crying… yup, the sensitive girl cries again. Not something weird, actually.
This morning, I met an old friend and he said, “how come u r not active in FB anymore?”
I used to write sentimental FB status about my broken heart and my poor life. 

But then I stop. 

i stop not because I’m happy or because I have found some ‘glow’ in my life. 

I stop because I think I’m so damn pathetic, and I don’t need people to feel sympathy anymore. 

Or maybe because i think people really had stop to care about how broken my heart is. 

Or maybe because i think that they had become so damn bored to hear my ‘keluh kesah’ and were desperately wishing to tell me to ‘stop complaining and GET A LIFE!’

 
Ok, I haven’t told you why I am crying. 

I cry because of a book. 

No, actually the reason of these tears is not because of the book, but because of the content of the book entitled DIVORTIARE, by Ika Natassa.
It’s about a divorcee who still thinks about her ex and can’t open up to new relationship, which reminds me of myself, except that I haven’t married yet. Ngeh3. 

p.s. in case u wanna know.... the guy that i will never forget is a very charismatic malaysian guy who had fooled me. at dat time, i really2 love him so much that i wanna marry him.but he's gone for good now =p
But that is not the point. I love the story, and the words. 

One of my fav part is when Lex said  

“it’s like having my guardian angel who would do anything to protect me and to make me happy, you know?”  

She was talking about her ex husband. That is so sweet, you know - The feeling of being loved and loving somebody. To have someone who would do anything for you… but then when everything vanished, you’d wish you have amnesia.

 
I wish I have amnesia. My fav statement is “I wish I could cut the part of my brain that contains the memory of you” which I took from a book entitled “Perempuan Simpanan”

Sebenarnya, aku takut untuk jatuh cinta lagi. Kerna menurut Ika Natassa “kita hanya bisa disakiti oleh orang yang kita cintai”

Oh my. I’m so down right now. And this month people kept asking me about my ex. Yup, my ex who had left me eight months ago. He’s in the same department with me now, with his gf. And we are like some strangers who have never been introduced. I don’t love him anymore, but people ignored that since I’m still single. I feel like I wanna scream- Just because I’m single doesn’t meant that I can’t get over my ex, okay! 

 
I do like someone after I broke up with my ex bf. He’s very funny, tidak terlalu handsome tapi mata sepetnya sangat seksi bila dia senyum, and easy going. But he refuses to see me anymore. And he got a gf now. 

Sh*t I’m crying again. Damn! I hate this feeling!

I hate to admit that I’m lonely. And I hate to hear people say “Be patient. The right guy will come sooner or later”
Stop telling me that bullsh*t! Stop judging me and stop reassure me!

Please take note that I write this not because I need your advice. I’m just telling you what I feel. (Okay, see how arrogant I am?)

 
Actually, I hate to hear people giving me advises because it hurts to hear something that you already know, but you can’t accept. And it hurts to feel ‘serba salah’ to cry about relationship when you know that you should focus on your study. 

Argh… these tears is clouding my vision! Maybe I should stop now before I write something more stupid than this.

Dear tears, could you please stop invading my beautiful face?

Entah mengapa,
jantungku terasa sakit saat aku menulis ini.
Kenapa harus manusia punya perasaan?
Dan kenapa harus hati aku selalu disakiti?
Dan kenapa aku harus sesentimental ini?

written on : 30th of April 2010, 12pm

little red riding hood

dulu saye sangat benci warna pink dan merah. sekarang dah banyak yang warna pink. tudung merah pun dah berani pakai. 

entah kenape... semua warna pink dan merah nampak chanteks.
tahniah ainul.  

kamu telah berjaya jadi perempuan sejati. 

tak bulih tomboy2 lagi. 

nanti takde lelaki suka. 

(fikiran kotor apekah ini?)
 anyway, i think that red is the new black!!!!!
it gives me confidence, and it makes me feels awesome!!!!

p.s. anak mama ni dah pandai menjahit. 

tapi bukan jahit baju. 

jahit manusia je yang saye reti. 

ye saye ulang. 

sekarang hobi saye menjahit manusia.
ade sesape nak tempah luka dia untuk dijahit oleh saye? 

tak perlu bayar. 

Free of charge.

lalalala~