sentimental fool

this few weeks,

nobody can realize the difference in me if they look superficially.

but deep beneath my skin, i've changed a lot.

my thoughts, my perception, my ways of thinking and most important, my soul.

i also did not hate myself anymore, which is a good thing cuz now i know that I AM NOT A LOSER.... (unless i think so)

i feel so great now, and more peaceful.

but i'm still afraid to be too happy...

is this real? or is it just another dream?

wanna know a secret?
there's someone that come across my dull self hating life...

we used to fight about the past. now we are crying about our future.

can two months become forever?

is it too much to ask for this moment to stop???

time, please stop and linger at this point where me and him feels so happy together...

please stop here.

don't let the traffic light turns green......

pleasee.....

but i don't wanna cry anymore. i wanna spent this two months, and make it the most unforgettable time capsule in my life.

oh how i wish this two months can be forever.

but we are so unsure of the future.

you know what?
i used to say that i wanna follow the flow.

just live playfully till december and then go back to malaysia and become someone important.

but then he came.

and made me realize. why wait till i go back to malaysia?

i can start to appreciate life NOW.

i enjoy the way we explore people together, from politician,to the parking guy.

he teach me how to respect, and how to be heard.

he reminds me of the Creator of this earth,

and he makes me feels so protected and loved.

people could be laughing at us.

and this might be my other mistakes in my life.

this might be another foolish thing i ever do in my life.

but as Dee wrote in her Recto Verso hybrid,
grow a day older and see how this sentimental fool can be....
if everything has been written down, so why worry, we say.
it's you and me with a little left of sanity.
  
one thing for sure, whatever this sentimental fool will turn into, it will NEVER be FORGOTTEN.......