wanna be a doctor? think carefully!

the most common thing that happen when you are working in a hospital is that people will start fighting to take leave.
as usual, being single and living with parents gave me no reason to take extra holidays. 
plus, i don't have any grandparents anymore. sigh~

i met my friend yesterday and she asked me whether i feel regret being a doctor.
truthfully, no matter how busy i am, no matter how bad i was scolded by my boss, no matter how bad my patients treated me, no matter how disrespectful some nurses can be and no matter if i had to work on festive days, I DID NOT REGRET of my choice to be a doctor. 

you know what? my CGPA in Matriculation did not exceed 3.6, and i remember the doctor who did my medical checkup few years ago was not satisfied that her niece with much better grade than me did not have the chance to be a doctor.
i had fight on my way to get here, and i am not giving up now!
few years ago, after realizing that i have no chance to study medicine in Malaysia, i seek opportunities elsewhere.
never mind if i had to study in Indonesia.
never mind if i can only get JPA's loan (which end up making me stuck in government hospital for 10 years. not that i wanna go to private. i don't really mind about it, actually. ehe~)

so here i am. 
i had to admit that my journey wasn't a smooth one.
with nerve wrecking and heart breaking relationships, and sometimes financial difficulties, i manage to survive.

when i do locum, people tend to say, "wow doctor. u are so young!"
ok, i am not that young. i'm 26 already. 
but i admit that i am still young in a medical world. I still have much much more to learn. 
and when i sign up for medicine course, it means that i am signing up for a life long learning.

so to those who are still undecided for their future, think before you choose this career.
if you want to be rich, be a businessman. I've met some doctors who had resign for some MLM (Multi Level Marketing) business.

 it is so damn useless to be a doctor without a passion.
because instead of treating people, you might end up being a killer.
now that i've become a Medical Officer, i had to be responsible in every action and order that i make. 
when i am not sure, it is not wise to just guess. 
when someone condition deteriorates, instead of following orders (that's what most of house officer do), i found myself thinking hard of what i should do or should have done to help that person. 
when i had to break a bad news to my patient, for example informing them that they have a cancer, and what are the possible options available, i fight so hard not to cry. (i did cry once, in front of a 30 years old single mother with a breast cancer who refuse operation, and almost cried when a tough looking 18 year old boy cried in front of me after i told him politely that he have a testicular cancer that have metastases to lymph nodes and his lungs)

seriously, this job is tough and need a lot of social skills, right?