worst week i've ever had

I just came back from a hospital yesterday.
me and my friend [Iman] had been there since last Saturday.

yeah, only two of us, a fifth week peadiatric coass, who knew so little about what we were about to face there.....
And not even once we went back home!
It’s such a torture.
I felt like a SLAVE.
I only sleep two hours everyday……
And I work so hard until i couldn't walk...

what?

u ask me what did i do?

well, here's my schedule

three a.m. [yeah, THREE a.m.]

write all of the baby's status

[which is almost half of page for each baby... and there's so many babies there... of cuz la. it's a maternity hospital!]

six a.m.
check and weigh all of the babies.

eight a.m.
accompany the resident to round the whole hospital to examine on every babies

~they will check the babies' status that we had filled before

~once i was scolded cuz i wrote that the baby is normal while she's so yellowish[jaundice]!!!!!!!!!

~there's too much babies that sometimes i don't check them carefully.

~the next day, me n Iman check them with EXTRA care even though we are so tired and our legs is so ache to even take a small step. haha

ten a.m.

make a 'milk schedule' for every babies in the 'babies room' [dats what it's called]. and follow the resident's intructions such as

'start phototheraphy for baby A!

or

'call the laboratory! ask them to check this baby's billirubin!'

or maybe

'follow up these two patients every three hours!'

huhu

~all of the sick babies are in the 'babies room'

~and this room is like my second home...

~this is where i sleep, eat and work...

~thank god there's a television, which i don't even have time to watch..

~but it's my only connection with the 'outer' world'! hehe

every hour

~check the delivery room if there's any fetuses about to be born

~if there's one, wait n watch the delivery

~if the baby did not cry one minute after born, take them and run [yeah, RUN! it's somebody's life!] to the 'babies room' and suction and resucitate them there.

~if the baby is ok, just do the apgar and ballard score, inject Neo K [yeah, students here can give injections] and examine them

~write the baby's status, which filled the whole page! it consist of examination from head to toe.

~if there's any cesarean section planned by the obgyn doctors, call the paediatric residents, prepare the operation clothes and resucitation's stuffs, then watch the operation and catch the baby.

yeah, i know it sounds easy...

but the delivery room is ALWAYS full!

there is almost twenty deliveries per day!

sometimes the nurses were to lazy to give the babies in the 'babies room' milk that me and Iman had to feed them ourselves.

this baby is too hungry that she 'ate' her friend's leg.... due to limited space, we had to place two babies in one incubator.

sometimes we even had to change their diapers! otherwise they'll keep crying!

some are too mollycoddle. they won't stop crying unless i hold them and sang them a lullaby!

the baby at the right is four kg! she's sooo big dat her chest got stucked while she was delivered. for almost five minutes, only her head popped out from her mum's vagina. everyone tot she's dead. and dat time, peadiatric resident was at home [it's 2 a.m.!] thank god the resident come in time n save da baby. hooray!

but then.......

There was a time where i felt like i don't want to be a doctor.

I felt like i wanna go back home and be a teacher.

the luggage that i bring to the hospital... i only spent seven days there but i bought things like i'm going back home!

i used to be tough....

my fren SMS me and said she only knew the 'strong willed and high spirited' me...

not the 'easy to give up' type

i am a very determined person.

i can even smile while holding a snake.

i can force myself to play netball and futsal though i've injured myself

as i re-read her SMS, i cry...

as a matter of fact,

i cried almost everyday...

and usually not because of the same reason...

first time i cried at the maternity hospital is when i watch Ashraff Sinclair and Bunga Cinta Lestari wedding reception on tv

i cry cuz they seems so happy while i'm stuck at the hospital, changing a baby's diaper. at dat time, i'm so tired and so unhappy ;p

i also cry when i heard newborn babies held by their dad n he will recite the 'azan' to the baby... such a beautiful moment!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cry when i saw mummys' delivering their baby. it's soooooooooooooo painful!!!!

i cry wen baby kasmawati die of HDN [kemorrhagic disease of newborn]

i cry cuz the room at the hospital is so plain while i miss my lovely room [at least i think it's lovely and comfy]

i cry cuz i miss my effy... wanna play with her!!

I CRY cuz i'm so MAD when the nurses think that they are better than me......

i love but i hate my life at the hospital...[how can i exactly describe it?????]

it makes me wanna cry even for the most stupid reason....

it makes me smile seeing those cute babies

it makes me so damn tired

but i gives me a satisfaction no one can ever felt except me myself

anyway, today i went shopping!!!!!!!

had spent almost rm2hundred!! [sorry daddy]

but now i feel so happy!!!!!!

hehe...

and i ate lots of yummy foods today.....

now i feel ok...

gimme more.....

and i promise u....

i'll get through anything till i achieve my dream to be a great DOCTOR......