the strongest bond

i really enjoy a good patient-doctor relationship. it's simple but so effective. the benefit is that the patient trust you, even though you are just a student wearing a white coat.

so, as a reminder to doctors and future doctors, 

do create a good relationship with your patients!!!!! 

here's a few tips for you.

1. SMILE =)

first impression is important. a warm smile can make your patient feels more welcomed. it is not hard to smile, right?

2. greet them and call them by their name. 

if it's too hard to memorize their name, try to find their name on the chart beside their bed =p

3. don't ever raise your voice!!!!!!!! (unless they are deaf). 

have some empathy, lah. we are treating sick people. harsh word can only makes them sicker.

4. take care of your patient. 

take some time to sit by their side and talk with them. you can chat about their hometown, or politics. it is recommended for you to explain about their disease. however, be careful! avoid saying something like "you have only 50% chance to live". doctors are not GOD!!! we can't predict who'll die or live. and try to avoid persuasion. patients have their own right to decide what's best for them.

actually, the are lots of ways to bond with your patient. 

it's up to you on how to create a good relationship with them.

i promise you that in the end, you'll find such a great satisfaction.

even though you are overworked and not paid,

everything is worthwhile if you give all your heart into your work.

it's not the praise that's important.

it's not the gift that counts.

the greatest pleasure comes from the grateful smile from the person u have treated and their family.

connect. bond. respect. trust. privacy. care.

that's all you need!

lalala~

i love my mum!

sejak masuk obgyn jadi rindu kat mama. terutama hari ni. harini ade satu patient yang asyik menangis dan sangat manja. asyik2 mengeluh sakit. setiap kali aku datang cek baby dalam perut dia and check kontraksi rahim dia, dia akan marah aku dan tanya aku bila anak dia nak keluar. dia kata tak tahan dan dia tak nak tunggu lagi dah. dah dua hari dia tak boleh tidur sebab saki. tangan aku merah2 kene pegang dengan dia bila dia sakit (dah banyak patient buat macam tu kat aku. hikshiks). mula2 aku bengang. sakit tau! tapi aku tak dapat memahami dia sebab aku tak tahu macam mana sakitnya nak melahirkan anak. jadi, setiap kali dia marah2 aku pujuk dia bersabar, dan suruh dia istighfar banyak2. tapi dia degil. masih marah2 dan menangis. 

lepas anak dia lahir, aku pergi kat dia lagi untuk cakap tahniah. tiba2 dia pegang tangan aku dan cakap 'terima kasih'. mata dia berkaca2. dia tunjuk aku kat mak dia dan cakap 'dokter ni yang paling tersiksa tadi'. aku rase macam nak menangis. aku tak buat apa2 pun selain bg semangat kat dia. ehe~
patient tu kata, lepas anak dia keluar, terus lupa rasa sakit tadi macam mana. da boleh senyum dan menangis gembira sebab anak dia dah lahir. 


minggu ni aku betul2 nampak betapa besarnya pengorbanan ibu nak melahirkan anak, terutama anak sulung.
sangat2 susah. 
sangat2 sakit. 


we should really appreciate our mother.

so go on and say "i love you, mum!'.

but remember, those simple words are nothing compared to her sacrifices.

think of it.

my prenatal diary

 i'm not a photophobiac, 

but the darkness had planted a soothing calmness inside me.

i don't have any aerophobia, 

but the aquarium is the only place i can breath.

and i'm definitely not a somniphobiac, 

since i'm always sleeping.

i'm a mystery because nobody can see me yet they can feel my presence.

but since the world had develop so damn fast, 

some had created a camera to spy on me. 

why they can't just let me alone?

there's no reason to interrupt me.

i'm living happily in this aquarium. 

lalala~

wait a minute.

who are you?

why are you reading my diary?

go away!

shoooh shooohhhhhhhhh

week 8

this is me.... 

ok... i look like an alien. 

but u look like this when u are young too, rite?

 week 11

my thumbs taste like a lollipop. i dunno why i wanna suck it. nyum nyum

week 12 

today i gulp the water in the aquarium. wow, what a taste! i wonder why i never drink it before...  hmmm....

week 14

this aquarium is getting smaller... i've tried kicking it. 

who knows it can grow bigger.

lalala~

p.s. why did every time i move i feel some pressure on my aquarium?

 week 20

i can finally hear something.

there's a weird thumping sound that sounds like this 'lup dup lup dup'

i never know where it come from, but it makes me feels safe.

somebody said something like 'it's a girl'. 

i wonder what does that means.

week 28

being upside down is fun! i think i wanna stay like this forever, lah

 

week 32

i'm so damn sleepy.. huarghh (yawn) nite2

 

week 40

strange thing happens. this aquarium is getting smaller and smaller.

everything sounds so hectic out there. 

mummy had been shouting like she's in great pain.

i wonder who had dared to hurt her...

poor mummy....

hey...

why is this aquarium is forcing me through this creepy canal?

help!!!!!!

 

oh my. 

what a place.

it's so damn bright and so damn noisy!!!

wrapped me in a blanket, fast!!!!!

p.s. sleeping on mama's lap is the best place in the whole earth

anyway, this is the real me.

ehehehe~

source: 

http://www.epigee.org

http://www.killthenoise.net

http://www.acilveilkyardim.com

http://www.newbornbabyzone.com 

http://www.savvy-baby-gear.com

hujan yang turun

hujan....

orang tau hujan itu rahmat. 

tapi ramai mengeluh waktu hujan turun. 

apa lagi kalau hujan turun tanpa henti. 

dulu waktu musim kemarau, hujan setitik pun tak turun. 

sekarang, tiap2 hari hujan. minimum 3kali pulak tuh. 

kadang2 hujan rintik2. 

kadang2 hujan lebat. 

kadang2 hujan + angin kencang. 

ade tak hujan sedang? 

ehehe.....

sebut pasal hujan mesti fikir tido. 

sebab hujan sedap sangat tidor sambil diselimuti comforter yang tebal... 

best gila! tp kalau dah penat, mana2 pon jadi tempat tido. contohnye dalam pete2.

aku memang suke selalu tido dalam pete2. bukan ape, penat sangat lah. 

sekarang ni kat OBGYN kerja 12jam sehari... lagilah penat. waktu duty tak tido langsung. dapat duduk pun dah bersyukur sangat. 

ok, mungkin aku agak 'lebay' (berlebihan). takdelah seteruk itu. 

tapi shift terakhir aku agak 'horror'. bayangkan aku disuruh pergi Operation Theater lima kali!!! bukan untuk tengok operation, tapi untuk hantar makanan dan hantar benda2 lain! penat gila! dapat 'hadiah' kene marah lagi. dah la jalan licin sebab hujan. banyak kali aku hampir terjatuh sebab berlari2 dengan kasut yang dah haus. (sebenarnye dah dua kali aku terjatuh berdebuk gara2 kasut tuh tapi aku masih degil nak pakai sebab kasut tu sangat 'comfy'. huhu. padan muke aku)

berbalik cerita tidor tadi, (lari topik lak tadi ye), 

ade satu kes aku tertidor hampir setengah jam dalam pete2. 

tiba ada lelaki kejutkan aku "mbak, bangun. nanti kelewatan" 

(cik, bangun. nanti terlajak). 

aku yang tengah lena tido pon terbangun. 

alamak, lelaki hensem lah yang kejut aku! 

cepat2 tengok muke kat cermin pete2. 

kot2 ade air liur basi. 

fuh... nasib baik takde. 

aku tengok sekeliling. 

oh, jauh lagi... 

lps tu, dengan mamainye, aku pergi cakap 

"tidak pak. masih jauh ini".... 

bodoh gila aku. patutnye aku cakap terima kasih. 

sempat lak aku menjawab cakap jauh lagi tmpt yg aku nak pergi. 

huahuahua.....

jauh ye aku travel? hospital banyak jauh2. ade yang lima minit jalan kaki dah sampai. tapi dekat department ni banyak duty di hospital yang jauh2. satu jam naik pete2 baru sampai. sakit montot aku duduk lelame... nak melayan lagu earphone aku dah rosak. tu yang akhirnye aku layan tido je dalam pete2. dengan hujan yang turun jadi 'lullaby'... memang mantap!

p.s. kadang2 takut jugak barang kene curik mase tengah tido. tapi alhamdulillah, setakat ni aku bukan jenis yang tido mati.....

missing the missing guy

where are you? 

hrmmm. maybe you're busy packing for your trip back home.

i thought i can see you for the last time you're in Japan...
there's something i wanna tell you...
you had asked me why don't i like you anymore.
and this is why....

 '10 things i hate about you' 
edited version

original version from the movie '10 things i hate about you' 

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.   
I hate the way you drive my car, 
I hate it when you stare. 
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.   

I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme. 
I hate the way you’re always right, 
I hate it when you lie.

i hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry 
I hate it when you’re not around, 
And the fact that you didn’t call 
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, 
Not even close…
Not even a little bit… 
Not even at all.

tears in my heart

looking outside the broken window,

my fragile heart feels so sorrow.

drops of rain should take the fire away,

but why i couldn't think the right way?

i'm lost in the maze of life, stranded in a deserted corner. 

I've always wish i could find a way out.

but alas, all i found is sadness. 

i wish i could stop the tears in my heart, just like i wipe the tears on my face.

i wish i could help my family, but all i do is just weary them out. 

this life is sickening, so excruciating, so unbearable. 

maybe i'm just too tired. or maybe i think too much. 

but the reality is there. 

the fact is the bitter truth i had to swallow. 

the problem is the real thing i had to face. 

and the hardest thing of all is that there's nothing i can do to help, 

except to pray that everything is gonna be OK.

dear ALLAH, please help us. 

please............

02.30pm, 

9 Jan 2010,

Labuang Baji Hospital.

my first baby ^.^

nak tahu satu rahsia tak???
sebelum masuk OBGYN, aku tak pernah ambik darah orang.
kesian tgk orang kene cucuk. sakit woo....
tapi sekarang aku buat jugak.
kadang2 cucuk sekali terus dapat, tapi kadang2 dua tiga kali pon tak dapat.
tak suke betul kalau macam tuh.
sakitnye kene cucuk banyak2!!!! =/


hari ni,
aku dapat peluang tolong lahirkan baby.
yeay!
(tapi ade dokter yang guide, lah.. ehehehe~)
sepatutnye dua minggu lagi baru aku boleh buat macam tu sebab aku ni baru 4 hari kat department nih.
tapi sebab ada dokter yang baik nak ajar, aku diberi peluang untuk 'tangkap' baby tuh. 
sangat2 best!
tapi paling takut mase kepala dia dah keluar. sempat jugak aku blank kejap. first time lah katakan. ehe~
seriously, sangat seronok tengok baby menangis bila dah keluar.
dan aku masih terasa nak menangis bila dengar bayi diazankan....
(dari dulu sampai sekarang, setiap kali dengar bayi diazankan, aku akan rasa satu perasaan aneh dalam hati aku... dan tibe2 rasa nak menangis....  bukan sebab sedih. bukan juga sebab gembira. entahla. tak tau macam mana nak jelaskan =p)

i feel so damn alive in this department...

and i enjoy every second of it.... ^.^

lalala~

p.s. anak sepupu aku dah lahir beberapa hari yang lalu.....
kalau nak tengok gambar dia, tengoklah kat sini
chumil sangat!!!!!!!!!

dear diary....

i am so afraid.

afraid that the unhealed wound on my heart becomes deeper.

but then he is not the reason for those bitter taste in my past.

his fault is only that he comes too late.

too late to protect my fragile heart.

too late to imprison my heart in the cage of love.

you are mine, dats what he said.

i was dumbfounded. 

but then he said it again. 

you are mine.

not i want you to be mine, but you are mine.

so not romantic but....

wow, such a strong statement!

today....

i kept thinking of what he said.....

YOU ARE MINE

hrrmmm...

i kept wondering....

will my heart ever be yours?

p.s. don't break my heart. please get lost if you are not serious. i am not a toy, ok.

Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com

nota kepala lutut: 

tibe2 teringat dia pakai white turtleneck sweater haritu. sangat hensem! ehehehe~

addicted

tadi aku hampir tersungkur dekat tangga. ngantuk sangat.

aik, baru hari keempat duty dekat wad bersalin. takkan dah tak larat kot?

sampai je bilik, macam bahagia gila nampak katil. hihi...

tapi aku buat dulu ape yg aku biase buat bile sampai bilik.

pertama, bukak Bessie kuat2 biar dia melalak (Bessie tu radio aku)

kedua, on laptop.

ketiga, bukak kipas.

lepas tu baru aku landing.

baring kejap lima minit, pergi mandi, lepas tu ngadap laptop dan online.

td mengantuk giler...

tp dapat je online terus mata aku celik.

oh, baru aku tau satu fakta yang tak pernah aku sedar selama ini.

i am addicted to internet, lah!

alamak.

satu habit yang tak bagus.

macam mane nih?

ade eh orang macam ni?

semalam aku jumpe satu manusia aneh yang mungkin tak aneh tapi kejam yang mungkin tak kejam tapi tak berhati perut tapi ada hati dan perut.

erkkk.. aku dah melalut... ni gara2 sangat mengantuk tapi masih nak membebel....

hihi....

alkisahnya macam ni......

 Ibu I, isteri kedua, hamil anak pertama dengan suami kedua.

bila tanya mana suami, dia tak tahu.

bila tanya apa nama penuh suami dia, pun dia tak tahu.

siapa kawan suami?

tak tahu jugak!!!!

dia kate bila dia telefon suami dia malam tadi, suami dia kata takde duit. biar je isteri dia mati dekat toilet (mase tu isteri dia tengah berdarah2 dekat dalam toilet)

dahlah takde keluarga kat sini, Ibu tu pulak tengah sakit sangat.

lepas tu, masa nak pasang kateter (tube yang masuk dalam pundi kencing), tibe2 aku nampak ade benda kecik dalam kemaluan dia.

aku kerut2 dahi..

ape mende tuh???? pelik betul...

pastu bergerak2....

alamak, tangan baby tu dah keluar, lah!!!!!!!!!!

lepas tu, 'plup!' senang je baby tu keluar.

baby tu baru je 28minggu dalam kandungan.

kecik sangat

masa tu tangan kecil dia memeluk tubuh, kesejukan.

tibe2 ada rasa sayu menyusup dalam diri aku....

baby tu nampak sangat2 innocent....

SO BEAUTIFUL and SO PURE....

lepas beberapa jam, suami Ibu I datang. (dokter telefon polis suruh cari suami dia)

dia datang kejap, tengok anak dia, tengok isteri, lepas tu blah.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........

benci betul lelaki macam tuh!!!!

tak bertanggung jawab!!!!!!!!!!

tak tahu macam mana ibu tu masih mampu tersenyum...

aku pulak memang sejak masuk koas ni dah lali dengan kerenah manusia yang berbagai ragam..

tapi geram jugak bila ingat balik.

sampai hati dia tinggalkan anak bini macam tuh.

untung ada kawan2 Ibu tu yang tolong bawakkan baju, tolong belikan ubat, dll.

kenapalah wujud orang macam tu ye? 

tak senonoh betul!

harini....

mase aku tengah dengar heartbeat baby dalam perut seorang patient berumur 17thn,

aku dapat SMS dari babah.

babah cakap kak yani (my cousin) dapat baby boy!!!!!!!!!

weee~~~~

congrats kak yani!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. tahu tak denyut jantung baby super duper cepat!!!!!!?????!!!!!!!!

heart beat orang dewasa lebih kurang 60-100x/minit.

baby dalam perut selalunya 120-160x/minit.

mase pertama kali aku dengar bunyi jantung baby dengan alat yang special untuk tu, aku rase macam nak nanges.

tak tau kenapa macam nak nanges.

hati aku macam teruja "dalam perut dia ada benda hidup, lah!!" (gile betul aku ni eyh? haha)

lepas tu mase nak kira heart beat baby tuh.................... penat betul!

cubelah kira 1 sampai 130 dalam satu minit........

susah tau!

apepun dengar bunyi jantung baby dalam perut sangat AMAZING!!!

terus terang, aku sangat suka OBGYN. sangat suka tengok baby lahir. sangat suka tengok muka 'expecting mum' yang berdebar2 nak melahirkan tapi sangat kesian tengok diaorang kesakitan... suka interact dengan family patient (forensik asyik 'bercakap' dengan mayat je. tak best langsung!) suka active doctors yang selalu bagi panduan dan selalu mengajar.. suke ushar doktor hensem. suka masuk 'operation theater' dan tengok dokter bedah patient sambil dengar lagu. santai tapi tegang, dan sangat memerlukan skill yang mantap!

aku harap sangat semangat aku kat bahagian ni kekal sampai 11minggu lagi.....

tak nak hangat2 tahi ayam je....

ganbatte!

presenting, singer of the day!

pagi tadi, aku kene pilih sama ada nak pergi department Forensik (hari ni tak cuti, dan hari ni hari terakhir aku kat forensik) atau nak pergi hospital bersalin Siti Khadijah untuk melapor sebagai new student dekat department Obgyn.

and of courselah i had to choose Obgyn. jika tak melapor aku tak boleh masuk any department selama 3bulan! oh, my........ padahal kalau tak dtg forensik hanya kene tambah satu hari je.

kelengkapan untuk masuk obgyn, ialah:-

kene ade nametag, gambar (macam biase setiap department kene bagi gambar... celebrity la katekan), duit yuran (rp80k), dan kene sedia untuk melapor depan dokter dengan format: nama, umur, asal, university, batch, obgyn bahagian ke berapa, lepas obgyn nak masuk department mane, dan status (single or taken). lepas cakap semua tuh, WAJIB menyanyi.

oh no! aku dah la tak reti menyanyi. malam sebelum kene melapor aku practise bagai nak rak, siap search lirik lagu Bukan Cinta Biasa lagi kat internet. aku tau dokter tu suke lagu cindai. tapi mamposlah kalo aku nyanyi lagu cindai! merosakkan lagu jek!

mase aku nyanyi, badan aku menggeletar. suara pon 'shaky' je. macam spageti dah badan aku..... gila nervous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kalau depan budak2 yg same dgn aku takpelah. ni sampai lebih 20 orang tengok! semua orang tengok muke aku lak tuh!!!!!!! haishs... sumpah tak nak ulang moment macam tuh lagi!

esok dah start duty nih... i'm still nervous..... balik je tadi terus tido. tadi mase tengok kwn2 yg tgh kt department obgyn tuh, semua mata sembab, agak tak terurus (sorry to say that)... i'm sure i will look horrible in another five weeks.

apepun, tolong ibu melahirkan anak mesti best, kan? walaupon penat, tapi ada kepuasan bila tengok bayi comel lahir. itu yang aku rase mase posting dekat Pediatric (kanak2) dulu..

i can't wait to start yet i'm so scared. but i had no choice rather than moving forward and succeed. haiyak!!!!!! (kicking the negative thinking from my brain)

ehehe~

010110, 10.10a.m.

010110, 10.10a.m.

a nice moment, it should be..but the fact is, it is just a date..just another year that means we are getting older and older. time shall not wait for no one. future won't hesitate to come and the past will always leave you, no matter how much you want to stop it from walking away.

they say, things will go away when we search for it. just wait and it will come to you.

sometimes i think that statement is true. but in some part, i think it is bullsh**. success won't come by itself, right? 

actually, right now i am feeling a little mixed up. i'm entering the OBGYN department soon and i'm freaked as hell. plus my earphone 'rosak'. arghhh..... how can i live without music? that is the only way for me to loosen up when i'm stressed out! haishs..... what a bad beginning... i'm so afraid i can't stand the 12 hour shift everyday for 11 weeks, but i do welcome the hectic life... easier for me to forget the strings of memories that still hadn't leave, no matter how much i force them out.

ok, i must 'kill' all of the bad thoughts. think positive, ainul. think positive....

there will always be a light in the darkness, right, right?

oh please, please gives me strength to move on, ya ALLAH.

please..............