i'm allergic to lipstick! *sigh

look at my swollen lips!!!
weird, but that's a fact.
yeah, i am allergic to lipstick.
i only use it today for five minutes (i was bored so i've decided to camwhore wearing makeups and selendang. haha)
and now i had to take two tablets of interhistin cuz my lips had become swollen.
i hate to see my thin lips changed into angelina jolie's lips! (i did not hate her, ok. i really2 adore the sexy, beautiful and gold-hearted mother of six!)
my lips hurt so much now.
there was once where i couldn't even smile for a week cuz of the allergy reaction.
another thing i'm allergic to is COLD weather.
it's lucky that i live in a very hot tropical island.
but if i was in an air-conditioned room, wheals of urticaria attacked me.
and god, it is so damn itchy!
uniquely, all i had to do is stroke it until it's warm and 'poof!!!' it's gone! easy, rite?
i always think, what happens if i go to snowy mountain?
maybe i had to take my anti histamine everywhere
*sigh.
i wish i'm allergic to fatty foods.
so that i can start eating healthy foods and become slimmer.
this week, 3 people had commented about my weight gain.
arghhh... i know i have gain weight. but gimme some space, lah.
i've been trying to reduce my cravings, ok?
the problems are
a) my stomach is so big that i didn't know when it will ever feel full
b) my mouth always wanna chew something
*sigh again
i feel so sleepy now (side effects of interhistin)
i hope tomorrow my lips didn't become worse.
i promise i will throw away all my lipstick and lip ice.
beauty doesn't worth all the pain, right?

oh ya. i'm allergic to harsh guys too. ehe~

my crush.. ehe~

today i feel so damn tired
but my heart didn't felt too tired
it's weird
i didn't have enough sleep since weeks ago
and i've slept with my laptop n my lights on (i shouldn't have wasted that much of electricity! my current bill had increased rp20k!!)
last night, i only slept for three hours
and i dream of someone that i like soooooooooooooooo much!!!!
in my dream, he was looking for me and when he saw me, he hug me so tight!!
awww shooo shweeettt
i guess i miss him so much.
can u guess who he is???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
come on!!!
guess!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ok ok
here's his pic!
my youngest brother, alieff imraan
(yup, i dream of my lil bro. ehe~)
the short dream makes me a lil bit sad at the morning.
maybe i'm homesick
huhu
but then i turned it into another feeling and my gloomy day had never been brighter than today!!!!!
even when a guy told me about my old crush (old story la.... and it's funny when he suddenly said "oh... i know u like W")
i was like.... OMG. that was so damn lame, okay?
old crush meant nothing to me now...
syira (my neighbour a.k.a. my friend who's such a good listener) said i should be ashamed or mad at the person who told the guy about my crush.
but i don't even understand why i don't care about people know about me having a crush to a cute guy in my batch.
i guess i have changed
n i'm LOVING it..
lalala~
no more bad tempered ainul. no more gloomy2 cloud on my head..
i just wanna have beautiful bright sunshine!!!!!
cheers!!!!

aku mahu cermin ajaib

wahai cermin ajaib
tunjukkan pada aku......
siapa yang paling cantik di abad ini?
(kalau kau tunjuk muke snow white, aku pecahkan kau!)
hehe...
takdelah.
hmmmm...
kalau aku ada cermin ajaib................
aku tak nak tahu siaaaaaapa yang paling cantik.
aku cuma nak tengok
detik2 indah....
saat tangan kecilku dipimpin oleh babahku tersayang
















photo from link

dan aku teriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingin sekali
untuk melihat aku di saat kecil yang riang bermain buaian
buaian yang hanya dapat aku nikmati saat babah memakai kain pelikat
tidak dijual di mana2 tau buaian tu!

aku mahu melihat saat tangan kecilku menghulur tangan kepada babah

dan disambut mesra oleh babah lalu aku didukung erat.

pasti aku rasa sangat bahagia saat itu, kan? kan?

aku juga ingin melihat bagaimana aku dahulu yang tidak pernah lupa menyalami tangan babah setiap kali pergi sekolah, setiap kali babah pulang kerja, dan setiap kali sebelum tidur

dan setiap salaman akan diikuti dengan ciuman di pipi dengan ucapan

“Pergi dulu/good night babah.... Assalamualaikum!!”

aku memakai baju dan kasut babah. ehe~

aku mahu melihat semua itu

kerana sekarang sudah sangat berbeza

aku juga bingung....

Kenapa setiap kali pulang,

aku hanya menyalami dan mencium tangan babah

Rasa segan nak cium pipi babah

Kalau SMS pun selalunya sms Mama

SMS babah kalau nak tanya pasal duit je

Aku tidak tahu bagaimana mahu mengekspresikan kasih sayang terhadap babah

Kelu. Bingung. Janggal.

*sigh

Aku masih ingat,

Babah sering memberi kata semangat kepada aku

Babah pernah menulis kata2 ini saat aku di MRSM;

S.T.U.D.Y.an acronym for

Strive Today Until Deed Yield

photo from link

Dan ada juga satu saat lain yang takkan kulupakan, iaitu saat aku merasa lelah dengan semua yang berkait dengan perubatan dan terasa seperti mahu berhenti. (lihat entri ini)

Komen babah membuat aku kembali berpijak di dunia nyata dan mengubah persepsi aku mengenai banyak perkara.

aku sangat2 beruntung memiliki seorang ayah seperti babah!!!!!!!!!

untuk babahku tersayang.......

HAPPY FATHER’s DAY!!!!!!















"Our dearest childhood memories have nothing to do with the size of our house, the luxury of the family car, or the net worth of the household bank account. We remember laughter, joy, touch, and the small, every-day experiences where we truly felt loved and protected. To all the fathers who make such things the ultimate priority, thank you" photo and words from link

aku bgn jam 3 pagi untuk menulis status

ya, itu niat aku
tertidur jam 12 tadi sebelum sempat aku menulis status dan menyiapkan refarat
cari bahan tak jumpe2
haishs
ni pon xjumpe lg bahan yg bagus..
so... aku pon buat tag ini untuk menghilangkan stress di pagi buta yang dingin ini....





1- Copy Award Diatas Untuk Diletakkan Di Blog Anda
Done!

2-Nyatakan 5 Fakta Menarik Tentang Si Pemberi Award Ini

Durrus
1. sangat chumil... ehe~ suke pipi dia yg tembam walaupon tak setembam jaja
2. dia yang 'pakse' aku makan terung. ya, aku masih ingat ini. dan sekarang aku sangat suka makan terung! (setiap kali pergi da cost mesti kne ade terong bakar dgn sambal. fuh,, mantap!)
3. dia yang sekarang ni....sangat suka ambil gambar!!!! dengan kamera beso dia tuh! aku jumpe dia pon dia g bwk aku g kdai kamera (huhu)
4. buat part time job amik gbr org kawen (ni kiter tulun promote ni durruss!!!)
5. dia member emaresem aku kat balik pulau. dan sampai sekarang aku masih selalu lepak dgn dia kalau aku blk msia. aku plg ingat same2 menangis mase letak jawatan sebagai ALK (ahli lembaga koperasi). anda tanya kenapa kami menangis?
kami menangis kerana setelah meletak jawatan dah takleh lepak dlm koop!!!! all of us are a family and we had enjoyed every single moment spent together. ala, windu kalian semua.... :(

3-Setiap Blogger Mestilah Menyatakan 10 Fakta Atau Hobi Diri Sendiri Sebelum Memilih Penerima Award Seterusnya
1. hobi aku main game... sekarang tgh addicted MAFIA WARS. tp bkn mafia wars d facebook. di situ koloni aku tak ramai.
2. aku sangat suka benda elektronik dan yg berkaitan dgn komputer. walaupon xreti sangat.
3. aku dah malas nak tulis.... tapi aku ada pernah tulis dulu ini... nak copy paste je la.. huhu

Aku hanyalah insan biasa, tapi aku suka melakukan sesuatu yang di luar biasa

Aku suka menyibukkan diri, tapi aku bukan penyibuk.

Aku suka membantu, tapi aku bukan pembantu.

Gaya aku ni kadang- kadang ganas, tapi aku tak suka keganasan.

aku pernah digelar ‘iron lady’ tapi aku tak suka iron baju

Aku suka baca novel misteri, tapi diriku bukanlah seorang yang misteri

Aku suka main game, tapi game tak suka aku (sebab dia tak bagi aku menang)

Aku tinggal dengan kura- kura, tapi 2 dari 4 kura- kura aku tinggalkan aku

aku suka dengar radio tapi radio tak pernah dengar ape yang aku cakap.

aku suka menonton video di laptopku, tapi cuma kadang- kadang laptopku menonton ku (tertido time tgk muvie.. huhu)

aku ni orangnya lurus, tapi kadang- kadang jalan hidupku tak lurus.

bila aku tengok org yg berjaya dan famous, aku terfikir nak jadi macam mereka...

tp kemudian aku menggeleng

sebab aku adalah AKU...

dan aku takkan jadi sesiapa, melainkan diriku sendiri..

alamak dah lebih sepuluh
narsis bangat nich!
lalala~

4-Anda Perlu Memilih 10 Penerima Award Seterusnya Dan Describe Tentang Mereka

oh.. part ni aku sangatla mls... sape nk buat, buat lah... hehe..

ok...
kene belajar semula
papai~
oh ya..
gud mownink!!!!!!


alamak.. br je nak post.. tibe2 internet aku sudah di'off'
so nantilah br leh post entry ni
haishs
terbantut niat aku nk cr bahan refarat lagi..
kesian dokter chantek yang jadi pembimbing aku
'maaf dok, hari ni ndak bisa kumpul. hari senin ya dok. nanti sy kumpul sama slide show'
ini dikira mengambil kesempatan terhadap kebaikan dia ni.
erk

before and after i become a coass

today i've realized that i've become a different person, not just internally, but externally too!
what? u didn't believe me? why don't u just scroll down n read, okay?

before
even a single beep of my phone will wake me up

after
two alarms are not enough! i'm not even sure if anything can. hihi

before
i can't sleep anywhere else except in my lovely room

after
the bumpy ride on a pete2 is ok...
the thin mattress at the coas room are also 'sleepable'
as long as i can rest my eyes, my body and my mind!

before
too many sounds are soooooo irritating

after
sitting in the middle of a room filled with crying babies doesn't even bothered me. yeah, i've learned how to IGNORE things. dunno if this is good or not

before
just by walking near to da 'bangsal' in da hospital make me wanna puke

after
i can even tolerate the smelly 'diabetic foot', babies poop, vomit and the fishy smell of blood!! waaa, did my nose had become 'immuned' to those smell?

before
i wrote the price of everything that i bought to manage my allowance

after
sometimes i ask myself, oh, where did my money goes?
oh yeah...
most of it was used for transport, da expensive foods at da hospitals n lots of drinks!!!
makassar is very2 hot that i always feel dehydrated!

before
i love long walks

after
urghh why is Lontara so far to the UGD (ER). those long walks hurt my legs!

before
i love wearing beautiful shoes

after
only crocs 'compliment' my feet

before
i went home only once a year

after
i feel like i wanna go back to Malaysia after every department! hehe....

before
i can't eat anywhere near blood

after
can u believe once i ate beside a boy who was being circumsized? with all the blood on the table, i don't even know how i can swallow all of da foods!!

before
my weight is ....(hey, it's my secret, okay!!)

after
i've gained seven kilos! OMG! this is bad....
hard works makes me ate even more! (it's not that hard, actually. huhu)

before
seeing people cry makes me cried

after
did my heart had turned into a rock?
i was in a big dilemma when a patient died. i had to be proffesional, that's what they said
but just making a straight face when someone had lost his/her life, the only thing that make them breath n exist on earth?
it sounds eerie but it is just what i need to do

actually, there are more changes i've felt since i've become a coass (co assistant) thank goodness i've never become an ass. haha
ya, ya,
people change
but the question here is...
is it for a good cause or not?
hrmmm
no one will ever know......

dermatology department

it's my second week in dermatology department...
and i never thought i'm gonna be so tired like this!
so much assignments! so much things to learn! so much skin disease that i must identify! i'm still confused. the pics i examined in the books weren't exactly what i saw at da hospital. most of them seems different..... it took me a while before i can digest anything.
p.s. did u know that the skin is the largest organ of a human? hmmm....
i'm not sure i'm tired because of the journey to da hospital (the hospital is located one hour ride from my apartment) or because there are so much things to do or because i'm just being lazy. but i think the third reason can be eliminated. i have done so much work last week that i didn't even play any games! credit for me. yeay! haha..
oklah..
gotta finish my slide show for tomorrow...
urghhh
work, work, and work
uwekkkkkk


oppss.... i must think positive...
chaiyok2, ainul!!!!
lalala~

when will this stop?

i had only started my posting in Dermatology department... but the questions i have been trying to avoid had rise again...this TWO HOT SUBJECTS had 'haunted' most of Malaysian students in Indonesia now; the story of 'sexually abused' MAHONARA and the unsolved border issue of AMBALAT. as a proud citizen of Malaysia, of course i support my own country and would never tarnish my country's name. but these two issues had placed me in such a difficult position. in indonesia, gossips TV show dominize, sometimes making small issues bigger; while in malaysia, there are only once a week gossip TV show such as Melodi. in here, u can watch those type of show anytime you want, either it is during breakfast, lunch, dinner or before u sleep. yeah. there's too much 'infotainment' show in indonesia. and every day, not even a single day missed, MANOHARA name was mentioned. she clearly had become a 'rising star'. it is enough most of us had always been asked about tortured indonesian maids in indonesia. we did not need 'manohara' to add our 'burden' as 'unofficial ambassador' to our country. even during our oral examination, some were asked, 'how big is Kelantan's sultan power?' or...'are most malaysian man 'sadistic' and always torture their wife?'. even by just mentioning her name had caused 'butterfly in our stomach'. i feel unease watching television with my fellow indonesians friend. i still remember yesterday, while i was eating with them, and chit chatting together, an image of indonesian soldiers filled the screen, while the anchor said that Indonesia is ready to attack malaysia regarding the Ambalat issue. imagine how i felt during that time! my friends here did not say anything about that. of course they won't, the are RATIONAL people. why should they attack us or hate us while all we do here is just studying? WE ARE STUDENTS. WE DID NOT TEND TO CAUSE ANY HARM. i just hope that nobody throw their rage to us. maybe i was just thinking too much. so far, NO HARM HAD BEEN DONE TO US. but the instability of this two country had kinda worried me a little. i was informed that in Malaysia; these two cases were not discussed heavily like in Indonesia. but i do found some electronic newspaper clippings talking about the stuffs. thank god internet exist. it's my only way to keep in touch with my beloved country. i dare not to discuss these two topics openly, because untill now, i still couldn't make up my mind of who's wrong or who's right. and i don't even want to, as i didn't want to place myself in trouble. my doctors once said 'as a doctor, u should know EVERYTHING'.

a doctor must be able to learn anything ANYWHERE
damn, it was really2 too demanding to know EVERYTHING! but citizens always discuss matters with doctors, from something as bold as politics and criminal... to secretive subjects of their marriage. even as a student, sometimes i found out that it is kinda hard to keep up. but that is what i must do. imagine if i didn't even care to google about manohara and ambalat. what a shame it would be if someone asked me and i didn't even know what it is exactly about! anyway, the damage had been done. no matter what is the truth, i hope that i can still study here peacefully. yeah, it is kinda selfish of me to say that, but please, la. conflicts exists everywhere. i think that we are like siblings. we come from the same roots, right? these 'sibling rivalry' will never end badly if we think rationally and solve everything the right way. so, peace to everyone! may our mother earth rest peacefully. amin.

new URL

i've done too much mistakes in my life... and it almost destroy my life (sorry to exaggerate)
ahaks
so.................
i've decided to change my blog's url!!

i hope the past will never haunt me anymore

it's time to move on...

and i know, i can't stay still and wait for miracles to happen...

alhamdulillah

exam dah abes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today prof come to work with a BIG smile. when he saw me at his door, he said "oh, i forgot about u yesterday!"
i just smiled.... then prof had to do some operation.. so i waited nervously in front of his office. few minutes went by.... and then he called me to his office and started to ask questions about my patient, M. u know, pak M had been asking my friend about me today. last friday, i've told him that prof will ask me to examine him 'on the spot'. he had agreed and had been very helpful. so he was also kinda 'anxious'. dats so sweet of him. i hope he can get well soon... anyway, about my exam, i think it went pretty well. prof was in a good mood today. if i couldn't answer, he will teach me. and if i give the right answer, he will nod his head in agreement. i dunno my result yet. let's just pray for da best, ok???

p.s. i've check my blood and i've asked several residents. it seems that maybe i was just getting chubbier.... OMG, in just two days my body had become 'bloated' like dis! .....sigh.... ok, no more choc for this month! or maybe just once a week, plz....

chubby or edema???

today i'm supposed to have my exam
but it appears that prof is kinda busy
i've waited until five pm (from early in the morning, ok?)
but what to do... he seems busy//
today atiq said that i'm getting chubbier...
i admit that i ate a lot
i always eat a lot when i'm in stress
the nadia T asked me 'ko udem ke?'
i think for a while...maybe she's right.. but i just ignore it..
then later this day elango asked me the same question "ainul, you edema ke? bengkak je badan u"
i deny it again, saying i ate a lot n i'm getting chubbier and chubbier....
then when i walk home, i look at my feet
i asked myself "gosh, when did my feet become so chubby?"
when i reach home, i talked with faezah... and i try to do some physical checkup on myself (ala, just picit2 my kaki n tgn je)
and OMG! mmg badan i bengkak, lah!!!!!
alamak.. sakit apela pulak ni?
if bengkak seluruh tubuh usually masalah ginjal or jantung
i need to check my blood!
lps exam esok aku nk cek darah aku..
isk, just edema and no other symptoms?????
i better check before jadi bengkak macam belon!!
hihi..
no, i'm not lying... mmg bdn aku bengkak tp xdela ketara sangat. tp kulit dh mcm tegang semacam je ni... doa je la it's nothing, ok?
k lah.. nk study balik!
cheers!